Author: Michael Brown

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

I’m always amused by the search strings that lead some to land on Ocular Fusion. There have been some post-worthy ones in the past, but this one takes the cake. Both yesterday and this morning, several visitors Googled “school closings for the blizzard of 06,” and when they followed the link of the #1 hit, lo and behold, they landed here!

In what can only be described as a cruel and ironic twist of fate, apparently there have been several of my fellow citizens who are seeking critical survival information in the blizzard-bound Northeast and have landed on my site only to get some Alabama hayseed prattling on about bread and milk runs at the local grocery store.… Read the rest

What’s On Your Window?

Although you wouldn’t know it from the amount of time I’ve spent recently blogging about my beloved Duke Blue Devils, I actually love soccer as much, if not more, than college hoops. I’m sure you’ll be reading some of my thoughts and observations about real football as I follow my sons’ soccer teams this spring and also as the FIFA World Cup approaches this summer.

I’m also an unabashed, card-carrying “eyeguy.” So imagine my delight when I recently discovered that I could combine two of the great passions in my life and enjoy them simultaneously–sort of like a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup or an Oreo cookie .… Read the rest

Tangle in the Triangle, An Update

I have to admit, for a while there I thought Number 2 Son had enough mojo left to pull it off last night. I figured that surely he must have expended himself earlier in the evening in Tennessee’s 75-61 win over Kentucky in Rupp Arena, the Vols first win there since 1999. But after the Carolina Tarheels came charging back in the second half to take the lead against Duke last night, I was afraid some of that ol’ black magic was going to be the Devils’ undoing.

Not to worry. As bile and fury poured forth from the cerulean blue cloud gathered in the Dean Dome, the Blue Devils held fast and emerged with an 87-83 road win over the young, but plucky Tar Heels.… Read the rest

Tangle in the Triangle

Now that we have that little football game out of the way we can move on to more important matters–like Duke v. UNC-Chapel Hill.

Tonight those two teams will clash for the first time this season and you can bet that Number Three and I will be breaking out the face paint and donning the Blue Devil Blue as we head up the Huntsville Extension Chapter of the Cameron Crazies. Number One has been pulling for the Dookies lately and earning some major brownie points with dear old Dad (probably just wants to borrow the keys to my car again). Number Two (the Vols fan) will be lurking in the shadows as usual, chanting the same tired old mantra, “Duke’s gonna lose, I can just feel it.”… Read the rest

Singing Those Super Bowl Blues

Like many of you, I was a little disappointed with yesterday’s Super Bowl. Not with the outcome, mind you, since I really don’t have an NFL favorite these days and really didn’t care who won. I do enjoy a good athletic contest, however, but unfortunately what was supposed to be pro football’s ultimate gridiron tussle turned into an anemic affair which neither team seemed to really want to win. The real news was Pittsburgh’s three road wins over the top three American Conference teams en route to the “big game.” Everything else seemed like anticlimax.… Read the rest

The Great Blizzard of ’06

As you can see from the picture of my street taken just a few minutes ago, things are pretty rough in Huntsville this morning. The Great Blizzard of ’06 which we all feared is upon us. Things are shut down pretty tight–good thing I was able to beat off that little 80-year-old lady for that last loaf of bread at Target yesterday. As for the 5-year-old boy whom I tackled for that gallon of milk, well, life is tough and hardly fair and he might as well learn it sooner rather than later.

Since I am considered “necessary personnel,” I will attempt the treacherous drive to work through this blinding blizzard–just hope I don’t suffer from “white-out.”… Read the rest

Now That’s a Bad Hair Day!

Number One Son recently made the varsity soccer team at Grissom High School. With 10 state championships since 1988 and an overall record of 317-35-15, playing for the Tigers is the Alabama high school soccer equivalent of playing college hoops for the Duke Blue Devils. Number One has put in countless hours over the years improving his game, waiting and hoping for the chance to don Grissom Orange–well done, son.

Of course, such opportunities have their price. We’ve spent a fair number of dollars over the years playing for club teams and shuttling to various matches and tournaments around the Southeast.… Read the rest

A New Nom De Plume

“To this day, the eye gives me a cold shudder.”

–Charles Darwin

The eye, the very thing that gave ol’ Chuck a case of the chills, never fails to give me a case of the warm fuzzies. I’m up to my eyeballs in eyeballs, and frankly, most days, I’m happier than a pig in slop. I believe I have an office with the best view in town and sometimes I get so enraptured by the beauty and complexity of this organ of sight that I get a little behind in my daily schedule because I just can’t stop staring.

I guess you could say that I’m an “eyeguy,” and in fact, many folks in these parts say just that.… Read the rest

The Power of Pictures

My recent post on the new Nike Air Max 360 was fresh on the mind of my friend Sonya when she took a recent trip to Rome. If you look closely at the background, or better yet, click on the picture, you’ll see a large billboard hawking Nike’s latest and greatest with the invitation, “Run on Air.” One might expect to see such a scene in Times Square, but et tu, Roma?

The intersection of the ancient with the modern can be found in the most unexpected places. When I saw this, I immediately pictured Pope Benedict XVI wearing a pair of the Air Max 360s beneath his vestments as he was issuing his first encyclical, Deus Caritas Est (“God is Love”).… Read the rest

You Don’t Mess Around with Oprah

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape,
you don’t spit into the wind.
You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger,
and you don’t mess around with…Oprah, da do da do…

Ok, I admit that’s not how the song really goes. But if you happened to catch the Oprah Winfrey show on Thursday (I did not, mind you) and saw “A Million Little Pieces”author James Frey face an angry Oprah and a studio audience consisting of mostly p.o.’ed post-menopausal women, you may have caught yourself singing it this way.… Read the rest

“The Book of Daniel” 1/6/06-1/24/06–R.I.P.


“…take a deep breath, relax and vote with your remote rather than play the protest game. Do that, and “The Book of Daniel” and its desperate priest will be dead on the vine within the month.”

I wrote those words on January 7th. Not that I’m a prophet or anything (who, after all, didn’t see this coming?), but just remember, I told ya so!

If you haven’t heard, NBC has pulled the plug on the desperately lacking and controversial show “The Book of Daniel” after only four episodes. The folks at Focus on the Family and the American Family Association are already taking credit for forcing the network’s hand on this, and others are whining and complaining about all those drunk-on-religion Red State right-wing nut cases who have struck once again and spoiled everyone’s fun.… Read the rest

Watching J.J.

As someone who bleeds Blue Devil Blue, it should come as no surpise that I’m a J.J. Redick watcher. I enjoy watching J.J. pull up just past the center court circle and rain down outrageously long distance rainbows while a bewildered bevy of slack-jawed defenders looks on in wide-eyed awe and disbelief. I like to watch exhausted opponents chase him from sideline to sideline only to have him slip away and knock down yet another twisting, fall-away jumper.

I like watching the newest addition to his repertoire–slashing, cutting drives in the paint resulting in unexpected, acrobatic buckets amid flailing giants who are no match for his feline reflexes and instincts.… Read the rest

“Glory Road”–A Little Too Glorified?

While we’re on the subject of “teetering on the edge of falsehood,” I thought I would point out George Will’s latest column in which he critiques the recently released film “Glory Road.” The film relates the story of Coach Don Haskins and his five black starters on the Texas Western basketball team and their victory over the all-white, Adolph Rupp-coached Kentucky Wildcats in the 1966 NCAA Final. Will takes issue with the impression left by the movie that the Texas Western team was the first to feature black players and that the game with Kentucky was a classic “David and Goliath” confrontation (Texas Western was 27-1 and ranked third in the nation going into the final game).… Read the rest

Teetering on the Edge of Falsehood

Probably by now most of you have heard about the controversy surrounding James Frey’s number one bestseller, “A Million Little Pieces.” It turns out that Mr. Frey’s book, purported to be a memoir detailing his colorful drug and alcohol-addicted past, has been exposed by The Smoking Gun as being more fiction than fact.

Oprah Winfrey, who featured the book in her Book Club and conducted an emotional interview with Frey on her show, has come to his defense. Calling in while Frey was being interviewed by Larry King, Oprah said fabrications notwithstanding that the story still “resonates” with her and her legions of fans.… Read the rest

My Guru Rocks!

My guru, Professor Ed, is holding forth again over at Albedo 0.39 with Part 2 of “Practicing Safe Surfing.” In Part 1, Ed focused on routers and hardware. This time around he’s dishing up some practical information on how your choice of web browsers affects your chances of contracting one of those nasty malware and spyware infections that are going around these days.

Like Ed, I’m using Firefox as my browser of choice since Microsoft IE has more holes than a third-world airport security gate. Now if I can just convince other family members who shall remain nameless (although he is often referred to in this blog as NUMBER TWO SON) to make the switch as well, maybe I could totally avoid the kind of nasty infection that I had a couple of weeks ago.… Read the rest