Author: Michael Brown

Go Ahead, Make It My Day!

Hopefully by now your Thanksgiving bird is safely simmering away in a pan in preparation for the feast–and hopefully you have lived to tell the tale. As this disturbing image shows, turkeys are not the docile, lovable birds commonly depicted in popular literature and movies. No, they are fierce warrior fowl who would just as soon take an eye out with a razor-edged talon than to simply lie down in a pan and wait for everyone around the table to sing a paeon of praise about how juicy and tender this year’s “special guest” looks.

Having grown up in Southwest Virginia near the campus of Virginia Tech, I have known about the existence of these “fighting gobblers” all my life.… Read the rest

Keep an Eye on Potter? I Can Do That!

I fulfilled one of my week-off vows yesterday and went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. My favorite character in the movie–no real surprise here–was Mad-Eye Moody, the new professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. Needless to say, Moody’s large, bulging left eye captured my attention. Immediately I went into differential diagnosis mode: was it uncontrolled glaucoma, a case of unilateral thyroid ophthalmopathy, a retrobulbar tumor or maybe the rare and dreaded cavernous sinus fistula? I know these same questions must have been running through everyone else’s mind too (I told you it was going to be hard to relax this week!).… Read the rest

A Gulf Coast Thanksgiving

I figured there would be some inspiring tales emanating from the Gulf Coast this holiday season. The citizens of Waveland, Mississippi lost nearly everything to Katrina, but as you can read from this USA Today article, their spirits were trampled but not broken.

Unlike many of us who have never experienced such upheaval, the good folks there have learned to do without many modern conveniences but are thankful nonetheless for the basics–food, shelter, hot water and the companionship and love of friends and family. Things are looking up as you can tell from the article, and the fact that Wal-Mart is back on the scene, adapting to the situation and meeting the needs of their customers in new and unique ways, is further indication that “normalcy” is making a slow, but sure comeback.… Read the rest

Remembering Lewis Well

My friend Bill Gnade at Contratimes has written a moving tribute to C.S. Lewis on this the 42nd anniversary of his passing into “a better country.” As Bill points out, Lewis, President John F. Kennedy and Aldous Huxley all died within a few hours of each other. Author Peter Kreeft took that fact and ran with it, producing the work Between Heaven and Hell in which he imagines the three meeting and debating in the afterlife.

Like Bill, Lewis opened my mind to the possiblity of retaining my Christian faith without giving up on intellect and reason. His works impacted my life in deep ways and also connected me with many other authors who influenced Lewis or were in some way connected to him.… Read the rest

Catching the Beat of a Different Tune

Like many of you, most of my days are defined by the rhythm of work. I rise, prepare, go forth, do the deed, retreat to my lair and collapse. If you had asked me twenty years ago what my typical day would look like, I think that I would have probably painted a picture with a little more glamour and adventure. Rather than merely do a few ordinary eye exams, maybe I would also slay a dragon or two who might wander into the clinic, make a life-saving diagnosis at least every other day, and perhaps stop an armed robbery in progress at the local convenience store when I stop by to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.… Read the rest

A Pox on Both Their Houses

Do you live in Alabama and desire a nice drive with congestion-free traffic, a good tee time or a short line at Wal-Mart? Then come the 3rd Saturday of each November–the day that Alabama stands still–venture out to recreate or run your errands during the annual Iron Bowl between Alabama and Auburn and you’ll have free run of the “Yellowhammer State.”

Iron Bowl weekend is now history, and Big Al is crying in his beer while Aubie is strutting tall and talking trash after Auburn’s 28-18 thrashing (it wasn’t as close as the score indicated) of the Crimson Tide on Saturday.… Read the rest

The Heartbreak of Presbyopia

As I type these words, my personal chronometer is starting its annual rotation–“44 years”–and the words on my computer screen are crystal clear. No haloes, no fuzz, no fuss. Through the miracle of modern optics, I’ve fooled my brain into thinking that it’s 1984 again, when my limbs were limber and my eyes as sharp as an eagle’s. All is quiet on the Old Age Front. Quiet, that is, as long as I keep my head completely still and my eyes perfectly centered through the sweet spots of my birthday present–a brand spanking new pair of progressive addition, “no-line” bifocals.… Read the rest

Why Narnia Matters

Haven’t you heard? “Aslan is on the move!”

Unless you’ve been in a sensory deprivation chamber over the past few weeks, you’ve no doubt heard about the upcoming screen adaptation of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe the first book in the Chronicles of Narnia series by C. S. Lewis. With the movie set to premiere on December 9th, the excitement and expectations accompanying this release are reminiscent of the pre-Passion days of early 2004 which were characterized by a flurry of media coverage, both postive and negative.

In the past week, media attention has focused on the life of C.S.… Read the rest

Bad Eye Joke #1

Mr. Smith was on his death bed and knocking at the Pearly Gates. He called his son to his bedside and made one final request.

In a raspy voice, he asked, “Son, I’ll be gone soon, but before I go, there’s one of the Great Questions of Life that I must have answered. Please go get Dr. Jones.”

His son looked at his father in confusion; Dr. Jones was the town optometrist, the last person in the world, it seemed, who could do his father any good. But the son was eager to fulfill his father’s dying wish, so off he went to fetch Dr.… Read the rest

Where Honorable Men Feared to Tread

Last week’s horrific al-Qaeda bombings in Jordan are the most recent in their ongoing strategy of terrifying those who only remotely support US interests, even if it means killing fellow Muslims. The latest attack was especially egregious in it’s cowardice and inhumanity, as a wedding in full swing was rudely interrupted by two uninvited guests wearing explosive-laden vests. The two were, ironically, a husband and wife team. The wife’s bomb failed to detonate, but the husband succeeded, killing 57 members of the wedding party, including the fathers of both the bride and the bridegroom, and injuring over 90 more.… Read the rest

A Veterans Day Special–“My Very Dear Sarah”

When I first heard those words, “Dear Sarah,” I was chasing my young first born son around our Nashville apartment trying to diaper the boy before he could do any further damage. The light from our TV cast an eerie glow in our small, darkened living room as a new PBS series on the American Civil War by a young filmmaker, Ken Burns, played in the backgound.

Suddenly, the scratch of a lone fiddle commenced, and soon the beautiful and haunting strains of Ashokan Farewell filled the room. Paul Roebling, with his resonant voice, began: “Dear Sarah,” and what followed were some of the most beautiful and soaring words that I had ever heard spoken in the English language.… Read the rest

O Midget, Where Art Thou?–An Update

In an earlier post, I wrote about how my high school friend Eric Ferguson was using a populist strategy and one of my favorite movies in his effort to defeat incumbent Republican Allen Dudley in the 9th District race for the Virginia House of Delegates. The returns are now in, and despite a hard fought, some would say “muddy,” campaign, Eric came up just short, losing by a mere 1200 votes (53% to 47%).

With FDR and “Giv’em Hell” Harry as his patron saints and Dave “Mudcat” Saunders as his campaign strategist, Eric almost pulled it off. He went negative in a nuclear way in the closing weeks, drawing the attention of the Washington Post and predictions of an upset.… Read the rest

What Happens in Pensacola, Doesn’t Stay in Pensacola

Number One son and I made a mad dash south on I-65 Friday afternoon. Destination: Pensacola, Florida. Reason: a season-ending soccer tournament whose name I don’t care to mention for reasons soon-to-be-apparent.

I’ve always enjoyed our little confabs in the car during soccer trips, although I’m not sure that the feeling has always been mutual. Since I gave each of the boys “The Talk” on a soccer trip, it’s a running joke in our family that time alone in the car with Dad invariably means some new words of wisdom regarding sex and/or girls. This is not quite fair, however, as we have also covered other important topics, such as how to politely address fellow drivers who cut us off in traffic and how to talk on the phone, read a road map and fiddle with the CD player while traveling at 70mph (ok, maybe an occasional 75mph when going down a hill).… Read the rest