Category: Culture

The Assimilation Continues

borg-18527.jpgIt’s been an eventful week here at Ocular Fusion. First, I was graced with a visit by the Winged Goddess of Victory herself (I think we all know her name, don’t we?). Then I was the victim of a vicious attack of flying spam, necessitating the installation of the new and improved, all purpose, Super-Duper Askimet Anti-Spam Shield and Bug Zapper (so far, 70 pieces of fried spam in 48 hrs).

But, no matter what I do, the assimilation continues.

Here’s my latest VIP visitor:… Read the rest

From Swoosh to Spam in No Time Flat

1559606_340_1116081430036-spam.jpgI thought that “getting Swooshed” would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Visions of free running shoes, endorsement contracts, commercials and billboards were dancing like Oregon Waffles in my middle-age, ever-balding head.

Instead, I went from Swoosh to spam in no time flat.

It all started when those pesky and creepy little search bot worm thingies started crawling all over my site a few days ago. Both Google and Yahoo (Inktomisearch.com) stop by at least daily, Yahoo sometimes more often. The result was a coordinated spam attack between 10:15 and 10:50 A.M. yesterday which launched eight cash-seeking missles that landed in the comment section of my various Nike posts.… Read the rest

I’ve Been Swooshed

In mob circles, it’s known as becoming a “Made man.” You’ve shown loyalty to the family through the years, doing all the dirty deeds you’ve been asked to do. Finally, after paying your dues, somebody notices. Suddenly, your suits get silkier, your shoes shinier, you receive VIP treatment at the dry cleaners and get the best seats at all the good restaurants with no reservations. Usually “being made” is the pinnacle of a mobster’s career–unless you’re Joe Pesci’s character Tommy DeVito in the movie Goodfellas.

Now I’m no mafioso, but I am a shoe nerd. And we have our day too, you know.… Read the rest

More Real Sex on Casual Friday

If you’re like me, your workplace allows “Casual Friday,” a day of reprieve from those constricting ties and starchy dress shirts. However, as I sit here contemplating which polo shirt I’ll wear with my khakis today, these passages from Lauren Winner’s book Real Sex give me pause:

Casual Fridays, I think, capture some of our society’s confusion about clothes. Professional workplaces have dress codes in part because managers know that how we dress shapes our behavior. If we dress up, if we dress professionally, we are more likely to behave professionally, to treat others with respect and be treated likewise. A few years ago, when employers all over corporate America said employess could dress down on the last day of the work week, workers were thrilled.

… Read the rest

World Cup 2006-Live With the Eyeguy!

I’ll be blogging live with my reactions and thoughts during the final match this afternoon between France and Italy. I’ve never blogged live during a sporting event before, but I’ve seen others do it and it looks like fun so I’m going to give it a whirl. Expect a lot of typos, and hopefully, a lot of Gooooooooooals!

Here’s some good reading while you’re all waiting with bated breath for me to start: First, a great match preview (complete with a cool diagram of starting lineups) from USA Today, and second (and third), a couple of good background articles from Slate: The True Story of American Soccer and Among the Brainiacs–The Intellectual Classes Descend on Soccer.… Read the rest

Nothing New Under the Sun

“Our youths love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders, and love to chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their household. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food, and tyrannize their teachers.” — Socrates, Greek philosopher and teacher (470-399 B.C.)

The origins of that quote, like many, are often disputed, but it does illustrate the point that “the problem with today’s youth” most likely dates back a few millennia. I was reminded of this as I read “Tech Creates a Bubble for Kids” in this morning’s USA Today.… Read the rest

Correction–It’s the Doughboy!

Thanks to Scott Freeman, we now have some new information to mull over this morning regarding the Burger King-Antichrist connection.

In the comments section of yesterday’s post, Scott chimed in with this pearl:

“You know the founder of Burger King was COC right?”

I replied:

“Get out of here! Really? No, I wasn’t aware of this, but that does thicken the plot considerably.

Well, now that you’ve piqued our curiosity, we’re waiting with bated breath to hear more. Do you happen to know if he was premillenial or amillenial?”

Then he shot back:

“I may be wrong. But during my first youth ministry gig I worked with a former missionary to Brazil.

… Read the rest

Is He the Antichrist?

creepyking-775233.JPGThere is much ado about what day it is, you know, that day. And of course, the discussion invariably comes around to who is the Antichrist. A long list of famous people have been nominated over the years, but as I survey the cultural landscape these days, a leading candidate to me is that creepy monarch fronting for the international fast-food chain, Burger King.

There’s already been a good expose written on “The King” elsewhere, and many other scary details can be found here. Despite the fact that I rarely eat there (I prefer to receive a month’s worth of fat and cholesterol over the course of at least 15 days as opposed to one sitting, thank you very much), I just can’t get this guy out of my mind.… Read the rest

It’s a Long Way From Gotham to Huntville

AL_12131.gifLast year at this time, the Eyegang was in New York City celebrating a 20th wedding anniversary with a family vacation. This year, things are more down to earth–hanging out with my little sis and her family in the roaring metropolis of Ozark, Alabama, the “Best Kept Secret” in the South. It’s a long way from Gotham to LA (Lower Alabama), but we expect the fun, fellowship and food (barbeque and shrimp boil are on the menu) to be every bit as satisfying.

While in New York City we walked till our little dogs howled for mercy trying to take in as much as we could in our 4 days–Ground Zero, The Statue of Liberty, baseball at Yankee Stadium, a Broadway play, etc.… Read the rest

The Da Vinci Nap–A Review (Sort of)

Da-Vinci-Man.jpgI wasn’t going to go see that movie this past weekend. I’m just not a bandwagon kind of guy. I’ve studied a little (well, actually a lot) of church history on my own, and when I read the book a couple of years ago, I laughed out loud at the bogus story line.

But then through a weird set of circumstances, I came about two free tickets, so off Eyegal and I went to follow the herd. I figured that it must have been God’s will.

But here’s the truth: I fell asleep. Not once, but twice (I think Eyegal might have punched me the second time thinking that I was about to snore).… Read the rest

Blogging–The (Bleep) Wonder Years, Chapter IV

In 1972, comedian George Carlin released the monologue, Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television on his album Class Clown. In 1973, some of those words even made it onto the radio airwaves when WBAI-FM broadcast, uncensored, another Carlin monologue containing the same profanity.

My parents wouldn’t even let me watch M*A*S*H or All in the Family much less listen to Carlin, but that never stopped a preteen who was determined to hear what all the fuss was about. The problem was I had the kind of mother who always had the uncanny knack of knowing when my Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition was going to arrive and intercepting it before I could get home from school, so coming by critical information in those days wasn’t easy.… Read the rest

A Cambridge Copycat?

If my last post wasn’t fully convincing, let me offer up another good reason why publishing the Great American Novel might not be all it’s cracked up to be.

Kaavya Viswanathan.

Kaavya is a 19-year-old sophomore at Harvard and author of the latest entry into the skyrocketing literary genre know as “chic-lit.” Her book, entitled “How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life,” focuses on a high school senior named Opal Mehta and her frantic attempts to get accepted into the school of her dreams and destiny–Harvard, naturally. It was properly feted in the New York Times when it debuted earlier this month, and all seemed well for the Harvard coed who was celebrating a six figure, two book deal and a DreamWorks movie contract.… Read the rest

Calling All Angels

“Sometimes God calms the storm. Sometimes he lets the storm rage and calms the child.”

–from a memorial plaque at Goshen United Methodist Church, Piedmont, Alabama

She emerged from the church ruins–split beams and shattered bricks, bits and pieces of altar and broken pew, palm leaves and dust-covered hymnals–all strewn about like Lincoln logs carelessly dumped by a child. Her left eye was nearly swollen shut, and she moved clumsily through the rubble, still dazed and unbelieving. In her right hand she clutched a palm frond like the one she had waved the day before in commemoration of Jesus’ arrival. But Jesus had not come–only a strong, swirling wind, a falling sky and the bewildering fog and acrid aroma of senseless death.… Read the rest