Category: Sports

National Signing Day (College Football, Not the Language Kind)

For hardcore Southerners, National Signing Day in college football ranks right up there with Christmas, Confederate Memorial Day and Mardi Gras on the holiday scale.

It’s the day when 18-year-old player prospects, typically endowed with more brawn than brains, play king for a day by holding nationally-televised press conferences at which they very slooowly look over the collection of ball caps bearing the logos of their various suitor schools until finally they reach–or wait, maybe not!–for The One and plop it on the ol’ noggin, much to the delight of their classmates, coaches, parents, siblings and long string of cousins who have gathered for the big event.… Read the rest

A Full Extension, Both-Toes-Inbounds Catch

Here’s the question: If I could somehow translate Steeler receiver Santonio Holmes’ sublime, full-extension, both-toes-inbounds Super Bowl-winning catch (or for that matter, James Harrison’s “Pass the oxygen, please” 100 yard interception return) into Eyeguy language, what would it look like?

Possible answers:

  • When I hear the splatter of rain on the gutters, I would round up my gear and go for a run anyway, or short of that, hit the elliptical trainer after work.
  • I would write something–anything–to jump-start my aging gray matter and focus it toward constructive work.
  • I wouldn’t be in so much of a rush that I would forget to kiss Eyegal before heading out the door.
… Read the rest

The NFL Needs a Witness Too, Tim

I’m not sure which was bigger news, that Florida knocked off the Sooners for the “national championship” of college football (no real surprise there, “Go S.E.C.!”), or that Gator QB and saint-in-the-making Tim Tebow received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for a little too in-your-face “Gator Chomp” after plowing through Sooner safety Nic Harris.

Did you see the way he knocked Harris down? I’m sorry, but that’s just rude.

Tebow is something special, both as a player and a person of faith just trying to “give a witness.” No two ways about it. Yet, am I the only one that gets a little uneasy with the running hagiography?… Read the rest

More Like Little Bighorn

“This is a hard loss. It lets us know we can’t underestimate anybody, and we’ve got to play to our full potential. We didn’t come out and play like we’re supposed to.”

–Terrence Cody

Well, there you have it. Not only is our man Mt. Cody able to squash you like a bug, he’s a rocket scientist to boot.

Duh. I’m sure that was part of St. Nick’s game plan—go out there, and whatever you do, underestimate your opponent.

After weeks of denying that they weren’t underestimating the Utes, Bama went out and did just that. Then after the game player after player stepped up to the microphone and confessed to the media that they did exactly the thing that they said they weren’t going to do.… Read the rest

Polygamists Do It Better and More Frequently

Okay, I do have to tell this one good N’awlins story, bad game notwithstanding.

Number One Son was standing on the balcony of the Homewood Suites in downtown NOLA on New Year’s Eve carrying on a running cheer with Bama fans on other balconies and on the sidewalk below.

When they started up the “It’s great. To be. From Aaalabama…” chant, a Utah fan in the next room heard the commotion, came out on his balcony, grinned at Number One and started to scream, “It’s great. To Have. Tweeeelve wives…”

Good times. Not to be nullified in the least by a team which apparently left their best stuff in Atlanta and didn’t show up ready to play.… Read the rest

It Won’t Be Easy in The Big Easy

allstatesb.jpgFinally, after a week in which Outland Trophy winner and our Biggest Ugly of them all, Andre Smith, was suspended for contact with a sports agent and key assistants gazed longingly at greener, more cash-filled pastures (and yes, it looks like Bama DC Kevin Steele is off to Clemson), we get to play a football game tonight.

Bama is a 9-point favorite against the Utah Utes in tonight’s Sugar Bowl. Sure, the Tide would much rather be playing a higher profile team like Texas or Ohio State, but they know the Utes have a mid-major-sized chip on their shoulders and will be bringing it hard.… Read the rest

Revisting Those Top Ten 2008 Anti-Resolutions

Well, it’s the last day of 2008; tis the season for end-of-the-year reviews. Remember those Top Ten Anti-Resolutions that I made back on January 1st? Maybe we ought to check in and see how much regress I made in doing those things “that I know, absolutely without a doubt, I will never, ever do this year…”

1) Serve on another committee. No problemo, 100% failure on this one. That Machiavellian committee experience back in 2007 got that little itch out of my system for decades to come. I fastidiously avoided large rooms with conference tables and PowerPoint projectors or any situation where more than 2-3 people were gathered together gesticulating madly while arguing over petty politics and personal agendas.… Read the rest

Membership Has Its “Privileges”

members-only-logojacket-111507-2.jpgIf you’re among the (*cough*) “elite corps” (aka “The Fusioneers”) that has registered here, you received an email this morning containing a sneak preview of a new blog that I’m rolling out.

It contains the community columns that I wrote this past year for The Huntsville Times, not to mention a “bonus track” from the early years.

Oh, and a few other tidbits, such as a picture of me (kudos to Number One Son for his mad photography and computer animation skillz) and my real name (like it’s so tough to figure out).

You see! Membership really does have its “privileges.”… Read the rest

The Fish House–The Place Where Dreams Come True

Marvin the Goldfish is like a Timex watch–he just keeps going and going and going…

His spirit I mean. The body itself is still in a sandwich baggy, buried deep in our freezer somewhere between the ground beef and the ice cream. That is, unless Eyegal got him mixed up with the frozen tilapia.

Final arrangements are incomplete, but ongoing. More on that shortly.

You may recall the readers who reached out to us in our time of Marvin-mourning with a very kind offer of a replacement goldfish. Yes, I know, it goes without saying that Marvin is irreplaceable, but it was still awfully nice of them.… Read the rest

Some Camo Eye Candy for Carolinagirl

Long time reader and commentator Carolinagirl is back from “playing” in The Sandbox, but she’s a little glum this morning after her beloved Army Black Knights were keelhauled yet again (their 7th straight loss ) by the Navy Midshipmen in the annual Army-Navy game.

Chin up, cg. Here’s some camo eye candy that should brighten your day:

armycamo.jpg

Both teams were sporting the new Nike “Enforcer” uniform, but Army’s camo threads were over-the-top-o’-the-trench AWESOME. When I saw them I yelled, CHARGE! I immediately gathered everybody in the house to see them and called Number One Son at Bama to make sure he saw them too.… Read the rest

‘Grats Gators

Wow, a “Game of The Year” that finally lived up to its billing. ‘Grats to the Gators for beating us straight up, fair and square.

We’re still a year or two away from having the full compliment of personnel to be able to beat a team that deep and talented, not to mention a once-in-a-generation player like Tebow.

Disappointing, yes, but the Crimson Nation is very proud of this team and what they’ve accomplished this year and the way they played today. Still, two Bama mistakes led to two Gator scores–remember what I said about having to play a perfect game?… Read the rest

Tommy, This Is Going To Hurt Me A Lot More Than It Will You, A’ight?

beatdown-in-t-town.jpg

…34, 35, 36…and one to grow on!

Kinda creepy, huh?

You know I’m just kidding, right?

You know, I know, heck, we all know that Tommy Tuberville’s sudden “resignation” this week had absolutely nothing to do with the “Beatdown in T-town” Saturday, right? Right?

If not Nick Satan, then maybe it was Karma…

I know I’ve gone on and on about the whole “finger thing,” but the fact is, after 6 straight wins you have to expect that. This is the SEC, not the ACC, for Pete’s sake. When it comes to football, one expects the knife to be twisted in the small of the back under such circumstances.… Read the rest