Dear St. Nick:
I know it’s customary to write to you before Christmas, so I hope it’s not too late. I just have one piece of advice for you: take the money and run, Nick, run!
Meanwhile, just in case things don’t work out, I’m hedging my bets and ordering a Boise State t-shirt, despite the fact that I’ve never set foot in the state of Idaho.
True story:
In the fall of 1984, I was a skinny, malnourished first-year graduate student in clinical psychology at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia. This was just shortly before I realized that I wasn’t cut out to be a psychotherapist and needed to work with something I could actually fix–like eyeballs–but I digress.
Moving back to Blacksburg had reignited some childhood allergies which in turn had set off a touch of asthma, and that was the reason that I was in Ellett’s Drugstore on Main Street looking for drugs–any and all, please–that would give me a few moments of relief. After scooping up and paying for enough OTC medications to anesthetize a herd of charging elephants, I started out the door.… Read the rest
This exchange is making the rounds:
RR: (on his meeting with UA AD MM): “I’ve got a good job. But I respect Coach Moore and I wanted to listen to what he had to say.”
Reporter: “How long did the meeting last?”
RR: “I’d say about 25, 30 minutes.”
(Then apparently turning to Mrs. RR) “How long did it last, Rita?”
Mrs. RR: “Ninety minutes.”
RR: “Oh. “
(Turning back to reporter) “Well, we didn’t talk about anything specific. We didn’t talk about plans or facilities or anything.”
Ninety minutes of nonspecific discussion (yeah right). But they’re such a normal couple, aren’t they?… Read the rest
The Crimson Nation is all atremble this morning at the prospects of having a new HC in our clutches by day’s end. UA AD MM just happened to bump into RR in NYC and they talked turkey. Lots of turkey. Then MM, who had planned to fly on to SB to watch the CT take on ND in BB tonight, got on his chartered Canadair CL-600 Challenger 604 jet in Teterboro, NJ and flew back to T-town instead.
Hmmmmm, strange indeed, wouldn’t you say?
So, will Rod get the nod and get his bod down to T-town in time to save the storied Bama football program and deliver up Lucky #13?… Read the rest
My source close to the Bama coach search (the bag boy down at Publix whose brother knows somebody who’s a janitor at the football complex in T-town who has the habit of rummaging through the trash) just handed me a copy of Alabama AD Mal Moore’s “To Do” list that he’ll be following today as he attends the College Football Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies in New York City. Here it is, an Ocular Fusion exclusive:
Well, okay then. Maybe not.
Come on now, Mrs. RR, Tuscaloosa’s not that bad.
Uh oh. Sounds like this is going to do in any chance of getting Spurrier.
I guess Bama got a little too clingy.
So, shall we take that as a no?
Frankly, if that story is true and SS still comes to Alabama, I’m not sure I would want him (think Franchione at Bama and Tuberville at Ole Miss).
As for me, I’ll be checking out the West Virginia v. Rutgers game tomorrow. After all, it’s never too early to start learning the Xs and Os of Alabama’s new spread offense.
Remember, RR comes before SS.
Well hush my mouth and slather me in grits! A very important person just payed a call using the following Google search string:
Anybody care to guess who that V.I.P. was?
Date: 30 November Time: 12:44:47
I.P address: 146.197.243.16
Country: United States
City: Beaverton, Oregon
ISP: Nike Incorporated
That’s right–she’s baaaack!
No, really, I want even charge a consulting fee. Just rain down on me a pair of those sweet Air Max 360s.
Several have arrived at Ocular Fusion this morning using the following Google search string:
Tracking Paul Bryant Jr.’s plane.
You got the right one baby! Ocular Fusion–good for all your plane-tracking needs.… Read the rest
If you’re interested in following the latest Spurrier/Bama scuttlebutt, this site is probably your best source of unconfirmed rumors in the blogosphere. The folks posting and commenting there are among the most sleep-deprived and bourbon-stoked in the Bama Nation, so check it out.
But then again, maybe you’re interested in applying for the Alabama job yourself. If so, you’ll need to fill out this application. Be sure to type or print clearly.
Finally, I can state for a fact (because I heard him say it with my own ears) that former Tide center and Shula teammate Hoss Johnson has categorically denied having been contacted by the University regarding the coaching opening, despite earlier rumors that Paul Bryant, Jr.’s… Read the rest
I just received this shocking email from a source, some guy who calls himself “Roll Skywalker:”
Paul Jr’s plane just touched down on the Death Star.
That can only mean one thing: Darth Visor.
And now these tantalizing and titillating tidbits from two top-level sources, Anonymous Insider #1 and Anonymous Insider #2:
USC’s plane N351GC has made two trips to Teterboro, NJ (10 miles from Rutgers’ campus) since Saturday’s game. Looks like SS goes to Bama, and USC is trying to get the inside track on Greg Schiano.
T-Town had a flight that left tonight just landed in Teterboro 30 min ago N46E
For the uninitiated, “T-Town” is Tuscaloosa, USC refers to the University of South Carolina, not the Trojans, and SS stands for Steve Spurrier, not Schutzstaffel (at least I think).
Planes are landing everywhere, and now all eyes are on Teterboro, New Jersey.… Read the rest
A plane registered to the “Tide Pride” boosters was spotted in Greenbrier, West Virginia on Sunday morning—before Shula was officially fired.
Rodriguez? Beamer?
This is more fun than a barrel of Volunteers.
