Revisting Those Top Ten 2008 Anti-Resolutions

Well, it’s the last day of 2008; tis the season for end-of-the-year reviews. Remember those Top Ten Anti-Resolutions that I made back on January 1st? Maybe we ought to check in and see how much regress I made in doing those things “that I know, absolutely without a doubt, I will never, ever do this year…”

1) Serve on another committee. No problemo, 100% failure on this one. That Machiavellian committee experience back in 2007 got that little itch out of my system for decades to come. I fastidiously avoided large rooms with conference tables and PowerPoint projectors or any situation where more than 2-3 people were gathered together gesticulating madly while arguing over petty politics and personal agendas.

2) Mistake an automatic shower self-cleaning unit for a shampoo dispenser. Check. Or is it not-check? I was at Mom’s house twice this year and in neither instance did I get spritzed with ammonia. I did have a run-in or two with a rogue lawn sprinkler, though.

3) Take it for granted that the Crimson Tide has a game in the bag. No chance of that after the Lo-Mo debacle. In fact, if anything, I underestimated them. 12-1 at the end of December? Not in my most technicolor houndstooth dreams.

4) Run two days in a row. Total failure. In fact, sometimes I even stretched it out to 3, 4, even 30 days without hitting the asphalt.

5) Not take a real vacation. Not only did I not not take a vacation, I took two–one to Florida and one to Washington, DC (wrote about both of them in The Huntsville Times). I have a real itch for not going to either St. Louis or Colorado in 2009 (maybe neither?). We’ll see how unsuccessful I am at that.

6) Do an early morning workout consisting of 2 x 1600, 2 X 800, 4 x 400, 4 x 200 repeat intervals on the Grissom High School track. Closely related to #4, I’m proud to say I didn’t go anywhere near the Grissom track this year, and I have the extra 10 pounds to prove it. What with my ongoing battle with chronic Achilles tendonitis, “Turf Toe” (Stop laughing–it’s an orthopedic condition, not a flesh-eating fungus) and Sister Sciatica (more scary–and painful–than a nun with a ruler), speed work was totally out.

7) Teach a Sunday School class. Blew that one too. Frankly, I’ve enjoyed the break. I’m more at ease tapping on a keyboard these days than speaking behind a lectern, and I don’t see that changing in the foreseeable future.

8) Engage in another debate with an atheist online or anywhere else. Nope, didn’t do that either. Didn’t even see Ben Stein’s “Expelled” and have no plans to. I did get into a few political debates, though. Man, am I ever glad that election’s over.

9) Use the phrase “Which is better, Alabama or Auburn?” instead of “Which is better, one or two?” when I grow bored of doing refractions day after day. No need to. Everybody knows the answer to that one anyway. Right Tommy? (Roll Tide!)

10) Take the people (especially my family) and the small moments of pleasure that are a part of each day for granted. Thankfully, I bombed this one, too. I even had one of my own sons tell me that I really stunk that one up. It was one of the highlights of my year.

My top anti-resolution for 2009? To make another Top Ten list of anti-resolutions. I’m pretty sure that’s not happening.

Happy New Year, everyone.