From Swoosh to Spam in No Time Flat

1559606_340_1116081430036-spam.jpgI thought that “getting Swooshed” would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Visions of free running shoes, endorsement contracts, commercials and billboards were dancing like Oregon Waffles in my middle-age, ever-balding head.

Instead, I went from Swoosh to spam in no time flat.

It all started when those pesky and creepy little search bot worm thingies started crawling all over my site a few days ago. Both Google and Yahoo (Inktomisearch.com) stop by at least daily, Yahoo sometimes more often. The result was a coordinated spam attack between 10:15 and 10:50 A.M. yesterday which launched eight cash-seeking missles that landed in the comment section of my various Nike posts. Each comment was the same:

Do you like NBA,do you want to have a pair of shoes look like the stars.Choose our products, you can achieve your dream.

Setting aside the Pidgin English and annoying lack of correct punctuation for a moment, the answers to the questions are:1) No, not really and 2) Yeah right, like I need another pair of shoes. As for achieving my “dream,” I gave up on playing in the NBA sometime around 1972, so I don’t think a pair of Air Jordon MDCLXVIs are going to help me hang with King James and the gang at this point.

What I would like is a industrial-sized can of pesticide to get rid of these icky search bot worms that seem to be crawling all over me (Bots-B-Gone, anyone?). But it’s looking like such frequent cavity-probing is the price one pays for connecting to the World Wide Web these days. It’s enough to make a shoe nerd think twice before he starts waxing eloquently about his favorite sneakers. Maybe all this talk of “assimilation” is not so premature after all.

So what do you think? Do the benefits of connecting to and doing your business on the internet outweigh the personal exposure, or is it time cut the cord, sell the house and move to a ranch in Montana?

16 Comments

  1. Scott

    Do you have the Akismet plug-in installed? It’s essential.

  2. Mike the Eyeguy

    The Akis-who?

  3. Mike the Eyeguy

    Ok, I found it. Still, I can’t find my API Key # to activate it–it appears I don’t have one (or at least where they say it should be). Guess I’ll have to email my host again.

  4. Seattlesoccermom

    I hadn’t picked up on your “assimilation” post before my previous Swoosh comment. But face it. Resistance IS futile. It’s only a matter of time before the wireless chip is implanted in each of our brains at birth. They’ll say, “You use it to find your lost dog, don’t you? Why wouldn’t you want to find your lost child?” And then: “Bwahahahahah!”

  5. Scott

    I got mine just through registering with wordpress. I use webbleyou as well as you do, but if you just register with the main wordpress.com they will email you an api key.

  6. Brady

    Just make sure that your place in Montana has the bomb shelter and the buried diesel tank.

    And a guest room…

  7. Mike the Eyeguy

    Ssm–

    I’m betting that with Bill Gates living up there and all, that the folks in Seattle will be the first to get theirs.

    Or, maybe you already have…

    Brady–

    Will do. Do you have a preference on the type of chips and soda to stockpile?

  8. Mike the Eyeguy

    Ok, thanks to Scott and my main man Justin at WebbleYou.com, the Askimet Anti-Spam Shield is up and functional.

    If some of your comments get zapped into oblivion while I try to figure this thing out, please don’t take it personally.

  9. hooteewho

    I have a handy little tool that deletes the hidden cookies from Google if anyone wants it….back to Spam, I was at the local H.E.B. here in town, they have little rubbermaid containers for your spam, free with purchase. Let me know who wants one, and I will send it your way.

  10. Nancy

    Many of us would not know each other if not for doing business on the net.

    So, if you like — really really like us — forget Montana.

  11. Seattlesoccermom

    Oh. So THAT’S why the computer reboots when I sneeze!!

  12. Mike the Eyeguy

    You’re all very helpful, thanks so much.

  13. Nancy

    Do I detect sarcasm from Eyeguy?

  14. Mike the Eyeguy

    Sarcasm? Moi?

    So far, so good. Since I activated the new and improved, all-purpose, Super-Duper Askimet Anti-Spam Shield and Bug Zapper, not a single piece of canned pork has shown up in the comment section.

    But I’m starting to get a little hungry.

  15. Seattlesoccermom

    Speaking of “You will be assimilated.” Does your ability to do “visitor analysis,” a la your Nike post, creep out anybody besides me?

  16. Mike the Eyeguy

    Ah, I was hoping someone would bring that up. That’s a standard feature on any stat counter. It can tell an IP address, city, ISP, etc. but not an individual’s name or anything. I would dare say that most web sites you visit are logging that type of information.

    Yeah, it’s all part of the assimilation process–grin and bear it!

Comments are closed.