Hey Alabama! Back Off Would Ya?
“This lawsuit is the equivalent of the Catholic Church suing Michelangelo for painting the Sistine Chapel.”
–Keith Dunnavant, author Coach: The Life of Paul “Bear” Bryant
The bubbas-turned-pundits have been wracking their Bud-addled brains trying to figure what’s wrong with the Crimson Tide. Presently, Alabama is on the fast track to a less-than-acceptable .500 season unless they can turn things around and knock off archrival Auburn this coming weekend in Tuscaloosa. After Tiger losses to Arkansas and now Georgia, hopes are up a wee bit that Auburn might be beatable. But they might be sky high were it not for that little fact that in order to win football games one must actually score touchdowns when in possession of the ball inside the twenty.
Much blame has been cast on Head Coach Mike Shula (nice guy, but does he have what it takes to win at this level?) and offensive coordinator Dave Rader (Hey, let’s run Kenneth Darby up the middle again and again and again even though our offensive line couldn’t punch a hole in a piece of paper!). But all this speculation misses the point; worse yet, it takes a @3%$&* Yankee newspaper to figure out the real problem.
Bad karma.
More specifically, the cosmic chaos created when a gaggle of lawyers with too much time on their hands decides to sue iconic Alabama artist Daniel Moore.
As The New York Times reports, Alabama officials decided to sue the artist, famous for his paintings such as “The Kick” and “The Sack,” over an alleged violation of the university’s trademark and “intellectual property.” Despite the fact that Moore once had a sideline pass and despite his work hanging in the Paul Bryant Museum (and I dare say, in the offices of many school administration officials), he was sued (the notice arrived at his studio via fax machine) and banished to selling his wares on Bryant Drive behind the stadium.
I walked by his kiosk on game day in Tuscaloosa recently, unaware of the lawsuit. I only recall the throngs of Crimson faithful gathered around Moore, snapping up his prints and elated to meet the artist and get a cherished autograph.
Now I’m sure there are all kinds of fancy lawyer reasons for this lawsuit, but down here folks don’t cotton too well to a bunch of guys in silk suits and shiny, Italian shoes chasing around and harassing innocent, little old ladies or a beloved figure like Moore. Plus, I’m a little confused over the juxtaposition of the phrase “intellectual property” with Crimson Tide football. To what brain trust are they referring? Oh, it must be our much-vaunted offensive coordinator. Yup, that must be it.
As the article points out, First Amendment protection, freedom of expression and whether or not the artist produced a “transformative or creative contribution” beyond the bare facts have decided such cases in the past. Well, if that happens again, then I think Moore is home free. Take a look at “The Sack” and tell me what you think. I see something there that a mere photograph would never capture–Cornelius Bennett “transforming” Notre Dame QB Steve Beuerlein into a small, greasy spot in the middle of the train tracks.
Hey Alabama! If you want to restore some balance to the football universe and return to your winning ways then you might want to tell your crack team of legal eagles to get a life and back off, would ya?
Lawyers with too much time on their hands…don’t even get me started.
19 Comments
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Ed
It doesn’t matter how good or bad either team has played before now because anything goes in the Iron Bowl. It is such a huge rivalry that emotion has more emphasis than the W-L score. When is the pre-game party 🙂
Re: Daniel Moore / Lawyers – boils down to money & power. Ethics and fairness are tossed out the door.
Mike the Eyeguy
Ed, you’re right, if Bama wins this Saturday, much will be forgiven. A 7-5 record and a minor bowl aren’t great, but that combined with a win over Auburn would buy Shula some more time to figure things out. One gets the feeling at times that he’s close, but obviously not quite there.
I vote we let one of the Bama lawyers dress out and take the field for kick offs. We could call him “The Twelfth Sham.”
JRB
Mike, I have two emphatic statements to make in criticism of this post. Listen up.
1. Lawyers don’t sue people. Clients sue people. Moore makes hundreds of thousands of dollars off of Alabama’s images and proprietary gravitas, and UA wants a piece. Please do be mad at the UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA for suing the poor, wildly popular idolator, among other reasons to be frustrated with Big Mama in Tuscaloosa. Lay off the lawyers; they’re just hired to do Big Mama’s bidding. I guarantee that that these laywers weren’t sitting around drinking Yellow Hammers to come up with a theory. Their client HIRED them to do it. Roll tide, and best wishes with the licensing arrangement.
2. The quintessential Alabama football strategy is to run it up the middle. You’re a bit of Johnny-Come-Lately, I know, but this is the way the Bear did it. Thus, this is way we will do it. Run it up the middle. Gene Stallings, only second in the pantheon, ran this play 80% of the time. Shula is just living up to expectations.
Mike the Eyeguy
I think I hit a nerve.
Did I not spread the blame among both university officials and the lawyers? I thought I did anyway.
I thought the former UA journalism professor had a good point, namely that no one outside that room of lawyers would think this was a good idea. I have a hard time believing that this is solely driven by hardcore administration officials–somebody is advising them and making the case to move forward. Who might that be?
I may be a recent convert, but I do remember Stallings running that play too. It was as unimaginative then as it is now.
JRB
Big Mama is pretty sophisticated, and she’s not likely to be led down a questionable path against a revered national hero for touting his wares that worship at her altar.
Lawyers, rule, man. We’re the grease in the wheels of democracy…..
Mike the Eyeguy
“We’re the grease in the wheels of democracy.”
That would explain the slippery texture… 🙂
GREG
hopes are up a wee bit that Auburn might be beatable
Auburn is very beatable. Their offense has looked weak against good competition all year (one TD vs LSU, one TD vs Ark, zero TD vs Florida). Cox had 8 completions Saturday – 4 to Auburn players, 4 to Georgia players. If you guys can score 2 TD’s, that may be enough…
Mike the Eyeguy
Two touchdowns? I don’t know Greg. That sounds like at tall order.
DAVID u
It has been a disappointing season…….but maybe we had our expectations too high after graduating SO many seniors last year. Considering how many new starters we have on defense, they have played great and kept us in most games. The offense has sucked when it got down to nut-cutting time. I like Shula, and our graduation rate is one of the best. I think he is a good recruiter. Having said that, I am not sure he has that special ability it takes to take a team to the next level. Very few coaches do…….hence my fear we may run him off too quick. Let’s face it……we had the greatest coach that ever lived, and we will NEVER be able to replace him. Our expectations are SO high, we set ourselves up to be let down. I think Croom at Mississippi State may be the closest thing to him at present, and he is still about two universes away.
If we beat Auburn this weekend, grace is given in abundance! If we lose, it may be his head.
ROLL TIDE ROLL!
DU
GREG
Mike, I did say “if”… but, maybe Brandon Cox will throw one touchdown to an Alabama DB, then the offense only needs one. 🙂
Josh M
Is this the same Mike the eyeguy who wrote wonderful things about “A Music Manifesto” back on 9/11.
You applaud respecting artists rights in the manifesto, yet you decry a university’s rights to it’s artwork.
What gives?
Mike the Eyeguy
DU–
I’m with you; I hope cooler heads prevail and that Shula stays regardless of the outcome of Saturday’s game. Considering the youth of this squad, he deserves another chance.
Greg–
We might be able to manage one!
Mike the Eyeguy
Hi Josh,
Thanks for stopping by; I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of “meeting” you before.
Actually, it was my friend Mike the Pharmacy Guy who wrote the text of the “manifesto” and I simply reposted it on my blog.
I’m not sure I get your point about the university’s “artwork.” Are you referring to the crimson and white colors and the numbers on the helmet? Doesn’t seem like much art there. I guess I was, ironically, defending an artist’s rights to his artwork and his freedom to earn a living without undue hindrance.
I thought the Dunnavant quote was very apt and cogent. Alabama has fed the artist’s impulse and creativity. Now she comes rudely busting down the studio door saying, “Now that we’ve inspired you, pay us!”
Intellectual property law is a relatively new and fast-evolving field. While it may be a technically legal avenue for the university to pursue legal action against Moore, I’m not impressed with their common sense in going after such a venerated member of the Bama family. It would appear to me and many around here that the gain in potential revenue for the university is being overshadowed by the ill will created by such internecine nastiness. There is such a thing as shooting oneself in the foot.
Besides, there are bigger fish to fry for Pete’s sake. Like figuring out a way to score a TD inside the red zone.
GREG
Mike, did you watch the boys in blue last night on ESPN2? I may post about it later, but in short, I was optimistic after seeing the game. The freshmen all looked pretty good, at least for the 2nd game of their career. As a whole, they were obviously a litte sloppy but it’s early and so is everyone else. I think by year end, after more time together they’ll look pretty good. DeMarcus is 100% again and it showed. Paulus obviously was not. Should be a good year but the ACC will be better than it has been in several years, I believe.
Mike the Eyeguy
Yes I did and I agree. The funny thing is that as I watched them I commented to Number Three how the balance and depth reminded my of the freshman class of ’82 that went to the ’86 final.
A moment later after a commercial break, the commentators said the same thing and showed a picture of the ’86 team–uncanny.
I really like Scheyer. His pump fake and smooth motion reminded me of you-know-who.
GREG
Yeah, I remember Scheyer being called a “poor man’s Redick” last spring. He looks like he’s got a nice shot. I don’t know if he’ll be able to knock down “redickulous” shots, but I think he’ll be effective. I like the athleticism I see in Henderson & Thomas, adding to Nelson and McRoberts. That’s something they haven’t had for a while.
I initially thought of the 98 class (Brand, Battier, Burgess, Avery), but the 2000 class (Williams, Dunleavy, Boozer) was pretty good, and actually stayed together for 3 years. These guys look like they have the potential to take them to a title game as well, in a year or two.
Mike the Eyeguy
It’s funny, I felt less stressed than usual watching them last night. Lower expectations, I guess.
If they all stay together for awhile (and besides McRoberts, I don’t see these guys making a break for the NBA anytime soon), I think we may get that Last Dance before too long.
Keith
I predict Alabama will beat the tigers this weekend by a touchdown. T.T. had a deer in the headlight look the whole game against Georgia and I don’t know what Cox was seeing at all. I think the go-to guy is DJ Hall. The more touches he gets the better. Also JP Wilson is going to leave his mark in Bama history before his time is up. I’m a Shula fan and Bama doesn’t need to make its 4th coaching change in less than 10 years! Tide 21, Tigers 13. Go Hogs!
Mike the Eyeguy
Keith, I’ve got a feeling similar to yours, but I’m afraid to speak the words out loud.
JP Wilson is the real deal. I would love to see him hook up with DJ Hall for a game winner this weekend.
And you’re right, now is the time for patience and for cooler heads to prevail. Go Shula and Roll Tide!
(your Hawgs are a good team).