Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

I hear tell there’s going to be some kind of football game tonight, yea, even a so-called national championship.

Prognosticate away. The winner will receive a signed copy of my memoir, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Optometrist.

I find myself in dire straits this morning. On the one hand, rooting for the Florida Gators cuts against every grain of my being. On the other hand, I want more than anything to shut up the yapper of this guy and the rest of the ESPN talking heads who have spent the last month and a half trashing the Southeastern Conference and my adopted home state of Alabama.

Gggggggogogo GGGGaGators. There, I managed to get it out.

Desperate times, desperate measures.

12 Comments

  1. Brady

    Would really love to see the game, with a cold DP and a bag of Nacho Flavored Doritos. But I’m sure it will be a big let-down after yesterday’s GMAC bowl game… in Mobile.

  2. Stoogelover

    Thanks for the reminder … I thought the BIG game was the GMAC Bowl out of Mobile, AL. I’m with you … it’s very hard for this former Bama fan (former in that I’ve been away so long I’ve just lost interest in SEC anything) to find myself wanting Florida to win. But better a southern state than those damnyankees (one word, therefore not profanity), huh? I haven’t been away so long I’ve lost my southern-ness.

  3. Stoogelover

    I would have been more original, but didn’t see Brady’s post until after I posted my own. Or, perhaps that is further evidence that the big game really was Sunday night. I don’t even know who played or who won that game, I was just amused that anyone would have a bowl game at this point in the post-season and anyone would really care who won!

  4. kenny simpson

    As a Gator fan, thanks for the support. I actually pulled for Tennessee, Arkansas, and even Auburn and LSU to make the SEC look good. Now it’s up to my team. GOOOOOOO GATORS.

  5. JRB

    Go Gators, with a bit of pain. Primarily I am motivated by filling the SEC’s deep coffers, so that we all may enjoy some windfall. Vandy and State can always use the dough.

    So Go DORES! Beat OHIO STATE!

    Also, as I wrote at our site, my wife has an aunt steeped in OSU lore, even to the extent of sending her three kids to Columbus, Ohio for college. At Thanksgiving, when I was absent from a family gathering, that wicked aunt taught my 2-year old daughter to change, spell and cheer: O-H-I-O! with hand motions. I am purging that incantation from her sharp little mind, and she spent most of the Christmas break being indoctrinated by her Pepperdine aunt, the lesser of evils.

  6. Mike the Eyeguy

    Brady and Stoogelover—I hereby declare you both honorary bubbas. Brady, I would suggest a MoonPie for dessert to go along with that Doritos main course.

    Kenny–you’re welcome, but don’t get used to it. I noticed that you didn’t mention that you were pulling for Bama against OSU. That’s alright, that’s okay, I still root for you anyway.

    JRB–that’s some seriously messed up mojo. Hopefully she’s not singing “Hang on Sloopy” too.

  7. kenny simpson

    I refuse to pull for a school that drops a coach the year after he wins 10 games and they take one of the most obnoxious men I have ever seen.

  8. Mike the Eyeguy

    You’re spot on as usual, Kenny. Why in the world would Bama fire Shula, who had a .530 winning percentage and no wins over Auburn over four years, and then go off half-cocked and hire a guy who had a .750 winning percentage over five years at LSU, plus 2 SEC crowns and one national title?

    Good grief, what were they possibly thinking?

  9. Jason Bybee

    I, too, will be reluctantly rooting for the Gators tonight. But I’ll never say Go Gators. I ain’t that desperate!

  10. Mike the Eyeguy

    Given your circumstances (lots of Gator bites), you can be forgiven for that.

  11. Jason Bybee

    Just for the record, we lead the all-time series 19-16. But recently, yes, we’ve lost more than we’ve won.

  12. Mike the Eyeguy

    So noted.

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