You Gotta Love Those Gunnies

gunnery-sarge.jpgA young Marine officer was in a serious car accident, but the only visible permanent injury was to both of his ears, which were amputated. Since he wasn’t physically impaired he remained in the Marines and eventually rose to the rank of General. He was, however very sensitive about his appearance. One day the General was interviewing three Marines for his personal aide. The first was an aviator, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the General asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?”

The young officer answered,” why yes, sir. I couldn’t help but notice that you have no ears.” The general got very angry at the lack of tact and threw him out.

The second interview was with a female Lieutenant, and she was even better. The General asked her the same question, “Do you notice anything different about me?”

She replied, “Well, sir, you have no ears.” The General threw her out also. The third interview was with a Marine Gunny. He was articulate, looked extremely sharp and seemed to know more than the two officers combined (surprise).

The General wanted this guy, and went ahead with the same question, “Do you notice anything different about me?”

To his surprise the Gunny said, “Yes sir; you wear contact lenses.”

The General was very impressed and thought, what an incredibly observant Gunny, and he didn’t mention my ears. “And how do you know that I wear contacts?” The General asked.

The sharp-witted Gunny replied, “Well, sir, it’s pretty hard to wear glasses with no freaking ears.”

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Tip o’ the lid to LTC Hal. Keep ’em comin’ soldier.

4 Comments

  1. ME

    Ooo-rah.

    I was working near the desk of a Navy CPO when I was in boot camp and noticed that he had two crossed anchors tattooed on his earlobe. He caught me staring at his ear and cussed me out pretty bad. He even suggested some things that weren’t true about my sexual preference. I think I got off light.

  2. Mike the Eyeguy

    Oh, good. I was hoping that others would chime in with some good NCO stories of their own.

  3. Hal

    I’m glad you enjoyed this enough to blog it. I’ve been getting some good laughs, as well as a few groans, out of it.

  4. Mike the Eyeguy

    LTC Hal–when it comes to warped humor, you and I are broadcasting on the same wavelength.

    Hooah (for you nonmilitary types, that means “anything except no,” the same thing as ME’s ooo-rah, only in Army language instead of Marine).

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