Dad To Son: Eat Right, Study Hard, Vote Well

Dear Number One Son,

By now, I hope you’ve received your absentee ballot for your very first presidential election. It’s your ticket to full-fledged citizenship, so try not to lose it beneath that Mt. Everest-sized laundry pile on your dorm floor.

(click here for the rest)

… Read the rest

For Such A Time As This

“O God, we are in a battle that is raging for the soul of this nation. You, O God, have raised up Senator John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin for such a time as this … Help them, O God, to strengthen our economy, to keep our taxes and spending low … and grant them the privilege of being elected the next president and vice president.”

–Minister leading the “opening prayer” for a McCain/Palin rally in Bethlehem, PA on 10/8/08

Are you serious? I mean, really? Okay, now I see a little more clearly why Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the Founding Fathers wanted to keep some distance between religion and politics.… Read the rest

Blogging The Wonders Years–Chapter VII

(This is Chapter VII of a series that I started but never really finished…let me know if you want more because there’s plenty).

Listen, I know times are tough. After I checked my retirement and college savings accounts yesterday, I had to reach for my inhaler and start playing the Taizé chants on my iPod in a continual loop.

But a little perspective is in order–I lived through the Arab Oil Embargo of the 1970s, for Pete’s sake. And as this February 20, 1975 political rant from the 7th grade personal journal that I kept for Ms. Fine’s class at Burnt Chimney Elementary School in Wirtz, Virginia amply shows, I was madder than #$%@&*, and I just wasn’t going to take it any more:

You said I could think of something to put in here, so heres the one thing I thought of [we didn’t cover dangling prepositions until 10th grade].

… Read the rest

Monday Morning Meltdowns

It’s Monday, and hopefully yours is off to a good start. But if it’s not, perhaps I can lend you some much needed perspective with a few Monday morning meltdowns gleaned from fan boards and blogs over the past couple of days. First up, an Ole Miss fan accepts the inevitable:

“We are not today, tomorrow, next week, next century in a position to be competing for conference or national championships in any sport. Period. End of Story. Take it to the bank. Put it in your pipe and smoke it. We can be competitive, but not champions.”

Over in Hawgville, things aren’t any better:

“Yet here we are again, after yet another blowout, and the same old yada,yada,yada.

… Read the rest

I Pray For John Parker Wilson

I’ve written several times about the curious intersection between football and religion, here, here, here, and most recently, here.

And now some more grist for the mill.

I just want to know: Was that sign put up before or after the Gator loss to Ole Miss?

Seriously, though, Jesus admonished us to not pray on the street corners. Does a Church of Christ marquee sign count? Yeah, Tim, get us a win every week and don’t let Jesus (and us) down while you’re at it. Nah, that’s not pressure.

Speaking of Churches of Christ, Nashville has one on just about every street corner.… Read the rest

Today Is Eyegal’s Born Day

Although we celebrated this occasion last week with a getaway to Nashville, you might recall I had to cut that short in order to help with the financial bailout plan (that went well, didn’t it?) and the Georgia game (’nuff said).

The bailout plan is still up in the air and now Nick is calling me about Kentucky (good grief, man, don’t you have a staff?), so I’m pretty blasted busy. Fusioneers, please help cover my back by sending some birthday love to Eyegal in the form of a comment or at least a good thought.

Gotta go. Sarah Palin just called–debate prep.… Read the rest

Transformation

Q: How long does it take a too-cute-for-his-own-good, 7-year-old soccer scoring machine…

number-two-soccer-98.jpg

…to transform into a fearsome, I’ll-never-dribble-to-his-side-of-the-pitch-again, warrior-god defender?

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A: About 10 years.

And here’s the other thing: If you blink, you’ll miss it.

Number Two is thrilled to have this well placed elbow in the back shoulder charge as the signature image of his senior and last year of competitive soccer. The special, tie-dyed  “third jersey” that they made just for that Memphis tournament is the crowning touch.

BTW, Number Two is considering Lipscomb, Harding…and Auburn.

Yeah, I know.

… Read the rest

The Economy. Never Fear America, I’m On It

Although I’m currently in Nashville with Eyegal (saw Hansard/Irglova at the Ryman last night–it was pure magic!), I’m coming home. Following the lead of Senator McCain, I have decided to suspend this mini-vacation and all my daily activities, including personal hygiene and marital relations, until such time that we have a bailout deal in hand.

Speaking of bailouts, here’s some of the apparent rationale for the $700 billion requested by Treasury:

“It’s not based on any particular data point,” a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. “We just wanted to choose a really large number.”

Data, smata–who needs it? Since we can just pull very large numbers out of thin air, may I choose the amount of my tax refund year?… Read the rest

On Living A Quiet Life, Part II

Warning: The following photo is considered by some to be like a Playboy magazine in that it must be kept behind the counter and away from curious, roving eyes:

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No really, I’m not kidding.

I know a lot of Southern Baptist and Church of Christ men really like Sarah Palin and think she would be a great President Vice President, but would they typically let her speak during their services or teach a class with men present?

What’s that you say? Well, okay then, how about pass a communion tray? Hmmm…serve food at a church potluck? That’s what I thought.

And on another front of the Culture War, the same people who “stumbled” over the retro Starbucks mermaid logo are back again, and this time the Duke Blue Devils are in their crosshairs (h/t Greg):

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Okay, I think they’ve really crossed some kind of line this time.… Read the rest

On Living A Quiet Life And The Ninth Commandment

Several years ago, I was asked to sign a petition in support of then Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore and his campaign to have the Ten Commandments displayed in the Alabama State Courthouse.

I declined. Not because I thought the the Ten Commandments were something to be ashamed of or that Judge Moore might not have a few good points in his defense, but mainly because a) it was illegal under the law of the land and b) I felt that he was intentionally using the issue to score political points for a later run at public office. In my opinion, that was unseemly behavior for a Christian and in marked contrast to Paul’s admonition to live a “quiet life” and to “mind your own business” in 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12.… Read the rest

Cognitive Dissonance, Or, OMG, Sarah Palin Wears Houndstooth!

Cognitive dissonance. For me, it could be simply defined like this:

palin-hounstooth.jpg

(A tip o’ my houndstooth fedora to DU for contributing to my *cough* “research” into the true nature of Sarah Palin’s refractive error)

Steady, Mike, steady…

No wonder Palin/McCain has a 24 point lead in Alabama. Then again, it could be just all the conservatives who live here. After all, everybody knows a “true conservative” would never support Obama.

Well, on to The Game. I just want my loyal Arkansas readers to know that I love you. I really do. But here’s the plain, unvarnished truth: If Bama brings their A-game, it could get ugly quick (ask Clemson).… Read the rest

9.55

That’s how fast a group of physicists have calculated Usain Bolt would have run in the recent Olympic 100-meter final had he not started celebrating and thumping his chest with 20 meters to go (he still ran 9.69, a new world record).

I don’t know about that, there are a lot of assumptions there as the article points out, but if he really would have ran 9.55 I’d bet that would surely eclipse the longevity of Bob Beamons’ 29 ft. 2.5 inch mark in the long jump which stood from 1968 to 1991.

Bottom line, whatever it is that you’re doing, people, run through the tape.… Read the rest

R, Rol, Roll, T, Ti,Tii…Oh, Never Mind!

You know me, I always come back from T-town with a story or two.

There were so many Auburn fans in Tuscaloosa last Saturday you’d have thought it was Iron Bowl weekend. They were driving around with their orange and blue flags, holding up their very premature 7-finger salute, and generally hootin’ and hollerin’ like it was feeding time down at the ol’ trough. Since they were playing the Bulldogs in Starkville and had a 6:00 pm start time as well, they were passing through around lunchtime on their way to their game. And what a game that turned out to be!… Read the rest