Transformation

Q: How long does it take a too-cute-for-his-own-good, 7-year-old soccer scoring machine…

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…to transform into a fearsome, I’ll-never-dribble-to-his-side-of-the-pitch-again, warrior-god defender?

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A: About 10 years.

And here’s the other thing: If you blink, you’ll miss it.

Number Two is thrilled to have this well placed elbow in the back shoulder charge as the signature image of his senior and last year of competitive soccer. The special, tie-dyed  “third jersey” that they made just for that Memphis tournament is the crowning touch.

BTW, Number Two is considering Lipscomb, Harding…and Auburn.

Yeah, I know.

… Read the rest

The Economy. Never Fear America, I’m On It

Although I’m currently in Nashville with Eyegal (saw Hansard/Irglova at the Ryman last night–it was pure magic!), I’m coming home. Following the lead of Senator McCain, I have decided to suspend this mini-vacation and all my daily activities, including personal hygiene and marital relations, until such time that we have a bailout deal in hand.

Speaking of bailouts, here’s some of the apparent rationale for the $700 billion requested by Treasury:

“It’s not based on any particular data point,” a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. “We just wanted to choose a really large number.”

Data, smata–who needs it? Since we can just pull very large numbers out of thin air, may I choose the amount of my tax refund year?… Read the rest

On Living A Quiet Life, Part II

Warning: The following photo is considered by some to be like a Playboy magazine in that it must be kept behind the counter and away from curious, roving eyes:

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No really, I’m not kidding.

I know a lot of Southern Baptist and Church of Christ men really like Sarah Palin and think she would be a great President Vice President, but would they typically let her speak during their services or teach a class with men present?

What’s that you say? Well, okay then, how about pass a communion tray? Hmmm…serve food at a church potluck? That’s what I thought.

And on another front of the Culture War, the same people who “stumbled” over the retro Starbucks mermaid logo are back again, and this time the Duke Blue Devils are in their crosshairs (h/t Greg):

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Okay, I think they’ve really crossed some kind of line this time.… Read the rest

On Living A Quiet Life And The Ninth Commandment

Several years ago, I was asked to sign a petition in support of then Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore and his campaign to have the Ten Commandments displayed in the Alabama State Courthouse.

I declined. Not because I thought the the Ten Commandments were something to be ashamed of or that Judge Moore might not have a few good points in his defense, but mainly because a) it was illegal under the law of the land and b) I felt that he was intentionally using the issue to score political points for a later run at public office. In my opinion, that was unseemly behavior for a Christian and in marked contrast to Paul’s admonition to live a “quiet life” and to “mind your own business” in 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12.… Read the rest

Cognitive Dissonance, Or, OMG, Sarah Palin Wears Houndstooth!

Cognitive dissonance. For me, it could be simply defined like this:

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(A tip o’ my houndstooth fedora to DU for contributing to my *cough* “research” into the true nature of Sarah Palin’s refractive error)

Steady, Mike, steady…

No wonder Palin/McCain has a 24 point lead in Alabama. Then again, it could be just all the conservatives who live here. After all, everybody knows a “true conservative” would never support Obama.

Well, on to The Game. I just want my loyal Arkansas readers to know that I love you. I really do. But here’s the plain, unvarnished truth: If Bama brings their A-game, it could get ugly quick (ask Clemson).… Read the rest

9.55

That’s how fast a group of physicists have calculated Usain Bolt would have run in the recent Olympic 100-meter final had he not started celebrating and thumping his chest with 20 meters to go (he still ran 9.69, a new world record).

I don’t know about that, there are a lot of assumptions there as the article points out, but if he really would have ran 9.55 I’d bet that would surely eclipse the longevity of Bob Beamons’ 29 ft. 2.5 inch mark in the long jump which stood from 1968 to 1991.

Bottom line, whatever it is that you’re doing, people, run through the tape.… Read the rest

R, Rol, Roll, T, Ti,Tii…Oh, Never Mind!

You know me, I always come back from T-town with a story or two.

There were so many Auburn fans in Tuscaloosa last Saturday you’d have thought it was Iron Bowl weekend. They were driving around with their orange and blue flags, holding up their very premature 7-finger salute, and generally hootin’ and hollerin’ like it was feeding time down at the ol’ trough. Since they were playing the Bulldogs in Starkville and had a 6:00 pm start time as well, they were passing through around lunchtime on their way to their game. And what a game that turned out to be!… Read the rest

Good Tidings

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You never know whether Good Bama or Bad Bama is going to show up for a game. We lucked out Saturday night as we watched Good Bama, who had been on vacation against Tulane last week, thrash Western Kentucky 41-7 from our nosebleed seats atop the north end zone. We learned that if you just close your eyes and think cool thoughts, it feels just like you’re sitting in one of those fancy-pants air-conditioned skyboxes.

We saw lots of Tide touchdowns from a very balanced run/pass attack (freshman running back Mark Ingram, by the way, is the real deal), and the lone Hilltopper touchdown was the first scored on the defense this year.… Read the rest

Hairy Mascots and Hurricanes

I’ll be headed down to T-town with Number Three Son tomorrow to watch the Crimson Tide take on the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. My parents-in-law lived in Bowling Green, KY from 1997-2004, so I had the opportunity to watch WKU play many different sports over the years, and I even saw one of their football playoff games in 2002, the year they won the I-AA national championship. It’ll be interesting to see what kind of progress they’re making as they continue the transition to big boy ball.

I’m all for progress as long as it’s not at the Crimson Tide’s expense. It shouldn’t be that close, but with our still relatively young crew, you never know.… Read the rest

Kawasaki Lets The Good Times Roll

In case you’ve been in a total sensory deprivation chamber for the past two weeks, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain has chosen Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. Believe it or not, this has caused a lot of controversy, and there are many who feel strongly one way or another about whether or not this is a good thing for our country.

For the most part, I plan to leave those kinds of questions to the big boy and girl bloggers and the hardcore mainstream press such as People magazine. But I do want to address a particular rumor that’s been making the rounds, one that has a vital link to our national security:

Sarah Palin’s glasses are fake and she wears them just so people will think she’s smarter.

… Read the rest

Northern On My Mind

Call me crazy, but for some reason I’m overcome with the urge this morning to dress in plaid, let my beard grow out a bit more, finally make that pilgrimage to Moosefest and watch old episodes of one of my all time favorite TV shows, Northern Exposure.

Speaking of which, here are a few soothing scenes from Wassila Cicely, Alaska.

As we enter into this season of college football and all-out culture war, maybe Alabama and Auburn fans, yea, even Republicans and Democrats can agree on one thing:

Dancing with your honey is a good thing.

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… Read the rest

Tarheels Launch Preemptive Invasion Against Duke

Concerned over rumors of a resurgence in Duke University football and the potential loss of the coveted Carlyle Cup, the UNC Tarheels launched a preemptive strike against the Blue Devils this past Saturday.

“Operation Eat Mor Chikin” began just prior to the kickoff of the Blue Devils home opener when two UNC paratroopers landed on the field at Wallace Wade stadium shouting “Mission Accomplished!” as soon as their boots touched the ground. That mission was to kidnap new Duke Head Coach and offensive mastermind David Cutcliffe and to commandeer his WMTs (Weapons of Mass Touchdowns).cutcliffe.jpg

The operation went awry, however, when the twelve Duke students who actually showed up to watch the game and the lone Blue Devil security guard, Barney Fife III, chased the interlopers from the field.… Read the rest