What I Learned In Atlanta

I just returned from five days in Atlanta attending the Southern Educational Congress in Optometry (SECO), one of the largest optometry meetings in the world. It had been a while since I had attended so large a conference, and I discovered that I had some catching up to do. Since most of you weren’t able to go too, I decided I would share a few things that I learned:

  • Be careful if you use a hotel elliptical trainer. If the “glide” track is angled differently from the one you use at home, it can ball up your calves into knots making it extremely difficult to walk for the rest of your stay.
… Read the rest

One Saturday, Two Different Shirts

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On most Saturdays during college basketball season, I can be found beside by TV set wearing my Duke Blue Devil shirt and hat. Yeah, I know it’s silly, but I’m firmly convinced they can’t win without me. You see, Coach K is really channeling for me during those time outs when he lays down the law and the Blue Devils return to the floor guns a’blazing.

Until recently, I’d never had cause on game day to don my circa 1980s gray Harding sweatshirt with the frayed, black and gold stitched letters. But last Saturday I had the opportunity to wear two different shirts on the same day as the Harding Bisons defeated longtime rival Henderson State 72-59 before a packed Rhodes Fieldhouse and a national audience on CSTV.… Read the rest

The 12th Man

Number One Son road-tripped to Auburn this past weekend to visit with some friends and to watch the Bama v. Auburn basketball game. The visit with friends went well. The game? Not so much.

Yesterday morning, Number One was driving to church when he stopped at an intersection with a crosswalk. He looked both ways, halfway expecting a herd of cattle to come ambling by about that time. Instead a lone figure in a suit was walking down the sidewalk to his right and starting into the intersection.

Number One stayed stopped and yielded like he was supposed to. He looked down to fiddle with something in the car, and when he looked back up, the man in the suit was directly in front of him and staring straight at him.… Read the rest

Bad Number

Okay, so I’ve written my March column for The Huntsville Times, and I do a word count and find out that I’m pushing the maximum limit of 680 words.

No problem. I relentlessly self-edit (a skill that all of you–some more than others–should practice each and every day), and I whittle it down. I redo the word count. I stare in horror:

666.

I’m thinking: better add a few words.… Read the rest

Which is Better, #1 or #2?

Well, I guess we’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?

Predictions anyone?

BTW, I like Memphis HC John Calipari more and more. He helped defuse a pretty tense situation last weekend at UAB when he gave their students the benefit of the doubt after a controversial ending. Very classy. Speaking of which, he dresses to the nines too. Kinda the opposite of Rick Pitino, who looked like Colonel Sanders (or would that be John Travolta?) in that white suit. Calipari is always good for some choice soundbites and gives a great interview. He makes me laugh till I cry–which is a good thing.… Read the rest

Artificial Tears Are Good. Natural Tears Are Better

A tip o’ the hat to fellow optometrist and nation’s servant Lt. Col Hal who passed on this fine article, “The Vision Thing,” from Christianity Today.

Artificial tears are the workhorse of eye care. I’ll tell you what I tell my students and patients–when all else fails, lubricate, lubricate, lubricate. It’s really not a question of if you have dry eyes, but how dry are they and how much do they bother you? Our modern lifestyle, especially all the time we spend in front of computer screens, contributes greatly to the surge of dry eye that I’ve seen over the past 20 years.… Read the rest

Nice Shot, Navy

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Whether you agree with it or not, you have to admit it was a nice shot.

As someone who briefly held the high score on the Space Invaders machine at University Mall in Blacksburg, Virginia in early 1985, my hat’s off to you, Navy. Somewhere, Wernher von Braun is smiling. And I suspect, so are many of my top-secret rocket scientist friends in Huntsville.

Maybe you guys could help Duke find the basket too. Or at least a little earlier in the game anyway.… Read the rest

Senator Obama, It’s Time to Come Clean

It was a crisp, fall evening in October, 2000. My U-10 soccer team, The Blue Vipers, were up against the perennial city champs, the Boys Club Hardrollers. They were a juggernaut–I swear some of their players had stubble and drove themselves to the match. I could go on and on about how they illegally recruited by grabbing up the best players from across the city, but that would make me seem small and petty. After all, it’s only a game, right? Right.

We took it to them, though, and at the half, we were leading 2-1. The lads were a little shocked at their success and so was I.… Read the rest

An Interesting Turn of Events

Talk about an interesting turn of events.

Yesterday, Eyegal, Number One and I made our way down to our favorite beautiful old downtown church for a Lenten liturgy fix. I had not adhered very well to my promises this year, and I was eager to make amends. Lent, after all, is not merely the stuff that you must brush off your clothes.

The rain poured hard as the service started, and the sound of it pelting furiously against the roof lent an air of drama to the lectionary readings. The music soared, drawing us away from our selfish, petty concerns and upward and outward toward Higher and Holier Things.… Read the rest

Interesting Feedback

A patient’s wife whom I’ve known for years saw me poke my head out into the waiting room the other day and ran over to give me some feedback on my recent newspaper column.

She cocked her head to one side, tilting it slightly forward, raised a single brow, and without so much as a hint of a smile said, “I saw your column. Now that was interesting.”

Not “Great column.” Not “Nice.” Not “Oh how sweet.” But interesting, very, very interesting.

“Well thank you very much,” I replied, not quite sure whether I had just been complimented or not.… Read the rest

Why I Hate Kentucky

There’s only thing that makes my heart gladder than a Duke win, and that would be a Kentucky loss. In this case, the major whuppin’ at the hands of the Vanderbilt Commodores last night.

Whence comes my ire? Oh, the general cockiness–and the 1978 NCAA final didn’t help. But the biggest reason is related to eyes.

In the summer of 1990, I was a resident in ocular disease at a large clinic in Nashville. I wasn’t sure where I would go after that, so I was in the process of obtaining several state licenses to broaden my options. I thought at the time that Kentucky sounded kinda nice and wasn’t far and that I might be able to find a post-residency position somewhere in The Bluegrass State.… Read the rest

I Won’t Forget the Flowers

As promised, here’s the link to my second community column for The Huntsville Times.

And, once again, they left off the first paragraph in the online edition. For the record, here it is:

“Another Valentine’s Day rolls around, and my mind is drawn back to 1976–and Annie. I sang her song, and it didn’t matter that she was John Denver’s wife because it wasn’t really about her.”

I don’t know why they keep leaving off the first paragraph. I’ll have to ask the editor about that. Fortunately, the print edition was fine, and they even used one of the pictures they had taken instead of the first one I sent in, the one Eyegal calls my “terrorist” passport photo.… Read the rest

Scandalous Stuff

Just a reminder for those of you in the Huntsville area, my 2nd Sunday column will appear in the Forum section of The Huntsville Times this week. I’ll post a link to the online edition as soon as it’s available.

This one will contain many embarrassing tidbits from my past (and present), flashes of 1970s nostalgia, sexual innuendo galore, the usual soaring prose laced with biting humor, Eyegal in all her beauty, glorious, never-before-seen metaphors along with a salute (sort of) to a certain upcoming holiday. All kinds of scandalous stuff, really.

Now that I have your attention, I hope you’ll read it.… Read the rest