His Eyes Doth Protrude Too Much

A tip o’ the lid to my friend Jason who yesterday beat me to the punch and blogged on a matter of utmost ocular importance.

During Sunday’s AFC Championship game between New England and Indianapolis, it seems much that much of the country’s attention was focused on Patriot wide receiver Reche Caldwell and his prominent peepers. Nicknamed “Headlights” by his teammates, Caldwell has eyes that appeared to nearly pop out of their sockets several times during the game, especially those two times he dropped easy catches, one all alone in the end zone. Rodney Dangerfield would have been proud–and impressed.… Read the rest

What’s in Your Blank?

peyton_bio.jpgWhen Indy’s Joseph Addai scored the winning touchdown with one minute left in last night’s NFC title game, Colt’s quarterback Peyton Manning fretted that too much time was left on the clock for New England’s Tom Brady to once again work his magic.

Manning then returned to the bench, bowed his head, and prayed.

With 16 seconds left and the Patriots threatening, Indy cornerback Marlin Jackson intercepted a Brady pass at the Colts’ 35 yard line. Game over. Prayer answered.

Or was it?

After the game, Manning opined on the intersection of sport and faith:

“I don’t know if you’re supposed to pray for things like that.”

… Read the rest

College Economics 101

img_0079.JPGWe’re off to Searcy, Arkansas today to give Number One Son, who turned 18 yesterday (Happy Birthday Number One–don’t forget to register for the draft!), one last chance to look over Harding University before making the decision about where he will spend the next four years of his life.

We’ve told him that this is his first Big Decision as a budding adult and that we’re for the most part butting out. Our strategy is that if he chooses one and then hates it, he can’t blame us–or so we think. He’s applying to Harding, the University of Alabama and Davidson College in North Carolina.… Read the rest

I’m Glad I’m Just An Optometrist

I don’t recall having written much, if anything, in this blog about Iraq. I tend to keep my peace on things about which I know little. But against my better judgment, I hereby break my silence.

These days it’s hard to find many insightful pieces about Iraq that aren’t leaden down with emotionalism and bile. However, I ran across one written by James Wiser, a librarian at Pepperdine University with whom I’ve recently had a playful verbal joust regarding Alabama’s hiring of Nick Saban.

On the heels of that comes a very scholarly and even-handed piece on Iraq and just-war doctrine written by former Navy officer Chris Dowd which appeared recently in Commonweal.… Read the rest

The $32 Million Dollar Question

Someone reached my blog yesterday via the $32 Million Dollar Question:

Is Nick Saban an atheist?

I’m pretty sure MM didn’t give NS a religious litmus test.

On second thought, maybe he did.

… Read the rest

Three Things I’m Trying to Figure Out

Here are three things I’m trying to figure out:

  1. Why schools are giving so much homework these days (Allison, who really wants to be a Tar Heel anyway?)
  2. Why a high school student would actually like homework (Jennifer dear, get a life)
  3. What’s causing all those thumping noises in my house at 3:00am (Get in Bed! NOW!)

After I get a grip on these, I’ll start on how spending $32 million on a football coach will improve the the quality of academics at the University of Alabama (there may be more to that answer than meets the eye).

… Read the rest

Tiggergate–The World Reacts

Well, that didn’t take long:

First the internet (thanks a million, Al), then blogs and now YouTube. How did the human race survive without them?

… Read the rest

Wanted: A Tigger With a ‘Tude

tigger.jpg

Have you seen this so-called “lovable” mascot? If so, please be aware that he is considered ornery and armed with a wicked left velvet paw. He is accused of having a little “bouncy, trouncy, pouncy, punchy” fun with an annoying dweeb. The only problem is that he didn’t “suckerpunch” him nearly hard enough.

If you do see him, call animal control immediately and head for the hills before you have your own “nightmarish” encounter with this Tigger with a ‘tude. Here is video of the “attack” (which reveals considerable horseplay taking place prior) and here is the video of CBS News’ morning anchor Hannah Storm (click “Tigger Trouble”) interviewing the traumatized teen, his father and, of course, their lawyer.… Read the rest

A Bright and Shiny Day in the Sunny South

The morning after the 41-14 Gator feed, I offer the following thoughts:

  • Someone has already manned up and starting eating his crow. I think there are a few others who need to step up to the plate. Herbie? Lee?
  • Did you see all those offensive formations that Florida flashed last night? I’m pretty sure that if you slow down the game film, you’ll see that the Gators snuck in the waterboy, a cheerleader and even the university president on a few of those plays.
  • Is it worth pointing out that the the listless and lowly Shula-laden Tide were leading the Gators in the 4th quarter in Gainesville?
… Read the rest

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

I hear tell there’s going to be some kind of football game tonight, yea, even a so-called national championship.

Prognosticate away. The winner will receive a signed copy of my memoir, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Optometrist.

I find myself in dire straits this morning. On the one hand, rooting for the Florida Gators cuts against every grain of my being. On the other hand, I want more than anything to shut up the yapper of this guy and the rest of the ESPN talking heads who have spent the last month and a half trashing the Southeastern Conference and my adopted home state of Alabama.… Read the rest

C’est la vie

Among the immutable facts of life this morning:

  • A new Bama head football coach will be greeted at the airport like a Messiah
  • Relatives will get together over the holidays and pass both the good cheer and the common cold from one person to another
  • No matter how much vacation you take from work, it’s never enough
  • A boss will overlook the 99 things you did right and focus on the one thing you did wrong
  • The new party in power will “usher in a new era” with overdone rhetoric and revelry

Please feel free to pitch in with a few immutable facts of your own.… Read the rest

De Plane, De Plane! No Really, I’m Not Kidding This Time

de-plane.jpg

(photo by Michael Palmer of TideSports.com)

Update 1/4: Hmmm. Pom poms instead of palm leaves…a Lear jet instead of an ass…

… Read the rest

Blogging the Wonder Years–Weighing In On Watergate, Chapter VI

gerald-ford.jpgWith the recent day of mourning in honor of President Gerald Ford, it seemed fitting to revive my dormant series, Blogging the Wonder Years.

What’s the connection? Well, as you may recall, in my personal journal that I kept for Ms. Fine’s 7th grade class at Burnt Chimney Elementary School in Wirtz, Virginia, I not only dealt with my “touchy-feely” emotional side, adolescent angst and roiling hormones, but I also responded to the issues and events of the day. Previous excerpts included reflections and rants on my personal emotional and psychological growth during my first 6 years of elementary school, guys with long hair, so-called friends who called me “shorty,” cussing and the 70’s music scene (highly recommended since that was my highest comment post ever).… Read the rest

Dear St. Nick–Take the Money and Run!

Dear St. Nick:

I know it’s customary to write to you before Christmas, so I hope it’s not too late. I just have one piece of advice for you: take the money and run, Nick, run!

Meanwhile, just in case things don’t work out, I’m hedging my bets and ordering a Boise State t-shirt, despite the fact that I’ve never set foot in the state of Idaho.

… Read the rest