Where There’s Smoke, There’s a Hire

If this can be believed, then today is the day an eager Crimson Nation spots puffs of smoke issuing forth from Denny Chimes. Where there’s smoke, there’s a hire.

As soon as the planes start lifting off and landing, I’ll let you know.

Meanwhile, it’s 16 degrees with a 4 degree wind chill factor in Huntsville this morning. For you weather buffs, those are the same conditions as International Falls, Minnesota, long-considered the cold standard in the United States. Contrary to the song, we really don’t have too many “frosty mornin’s” in Dixie any more, and we’ve got the lightweight, ineffective coats to prove it.… Read the rest

They’re Such a Normal Couple

This exchange is making the rounds:

RR: (on his meeting with UA AD MM): “I’ve got a good job. But I respect Coach Moore and I wanted to listen to what he had to say.”

Reporter: “How long did the meeting last?”

RR: “I’d say about 25, 30 minutes.”

(Then apparently turning to Mrs. RR) “How long did it last, Rita?”

Mrs. RR: “Ninety minutes.”

RR: “Oh. “

(Turning back to reporter) “Well, we didn’t talk about anything specific. We didn’t talk about plans or facilities or anything.”

Ninety minutes of nonspecific discussion (yeah right). But they’re such a normal couple, aren’t they?… Read the rest

Will Rod Get the Nod?

challenger-604.jpgThe Crimson Nation is all atremble this morning at the prospects of having a new HC in our clutches by day’s end. UA AD MM just happened to bump into RR in NYC and they talked turkey. Lots of turkey. Then MM, who had planned to fly on to SB to watch the CT take on ND in BB tonight, got on his chartered Canadair CL-600 Challenger 604 jet in Teterboro, NJ and flew back to T-town instead.

Hmmmmm, strange indeed, wouldn’t you say?

So, will Rod get the nod and get his bod down to T-town in time to save the storied Bama football program and deliver up Lucky #13?… Read the rest

Prohibition of a Different Sort

prohibition_gr2_s.jpegThe year is 2015. A portly, middle-aged man slips quietly through an alley in the early morning darkness, somewhere in midtown Manhattan. He trips over several homeless people and steps on the tail of a cat which emits a loud screech that echoes for several city blocks.

Startled, he now walks more briskly, afraid that the ruckus may have attracted the attention of the local food police. He is risking much. His career as a successful stockbroker and reputation as a solid family man would be ruined should he be discovered.

He comes to a nondescript, dilapidated building with a steel door.… Read the rest

Making a List, Checking It Twice

My source close to the Bama coach search (the bag boy down at Publix whose brother knows somebody who’s a janitor at the football complex in T-town who has the habit of rummaging through the trash) just handed me a copy of Alabama AD Mal Moore’s “To Do” list that he’ll be following today as he attends the College Football Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies in New York City. Here it is, an Ocular Fusion exclusive:

10. Find limo driver (the one holding the “Roll Tide?” sign)
9. Travel to The Waldorf=Astoria Hotel in style
8. Buy faux Rolexes from the man in the overcoat in Times Square
7.
… Read the rest

Lux Aurumque

nativity-church.jpgThere’s nothing like soaring choral music to get one’s Advent Season off to a good start.

Yesterday, I put Alabama’s coaching woes far behind me and dove headlong into Advent by attending a concert of the University of Alabama at Huntsville Chorus and the Huntsville Youth Chorus at the historic Episcopal Church of the Nativity in downtown (kudos to RocketCityPoet for the stunning view of Nativity above).

Small in numbers but large in both volume and spirit, both choruses hit several high notes, including such classics as Lauridsen’s O Magnum Mysterium and Vilvadi’s Magnificat in G Minor. Throw in some rousing audience participation on favorites like O Come, All Ye Faithful and Hark!… Read the rest

RR Comes Before SS

So, shall we take that as a no?

Frankly, if that story is true and SS still comes to Alabama, I’m not sure I would want him (think Franchione at Bama and Tuberville at Ole Miss).

As for me, I’ll be checking out the West Virginia v. Rutgers game tomorrow. After all, it’s never too early to start learning the Xs and Os of Alabama’s new spread offense.

Remember, RR comes before SS.

… Read the rest

She’s Baaaack!

Well hush my mouth and slather me in grits! A very important person just payed a call using the following Google search string:

Nike football Alabama

Anybody care to guess who that V.I.P. was?

Date: 30 November Time: 12:44:47

I.P address: 146.197.243.16

Country: United States

City: Beaverton, Oregon

ISP: Nike Incorporated

That’s right–she’s baaaack!

No, really, I want even charge a consulting fee. Just rain down on me a pair of those sweet Air Max 360s.

… Read the rest

Help Wanted, Visor Not Required

If you’re interested in following the latest Spurrier/Bama scuttlebutt, this site is probably your best source of unconfirmed rumors in the blogosphere. The folks posting and commenting there are among the most sleep-deprived and bourbon-stoked in the Bama Nation, so check it out.

But then again, maybe you’re interested in applying for the Alabama job yourself. If so, you’ll need to fill out this application. Be sure to type or print clearly.

Finally, I can state for a fact (because I heard him say it with my own ears) that former Tide center and Shula teammate Hoss Johnson has categorically denied having been contacted by the University regarding the coaching opening, despite earlier rumors that Paul Bryant, Jr.’s… Read the rest