A Kiddy Shield?

usa kids.jpgYou may have noticed that whenever the players take the pitch in the World Cup, they always seem to emerge from the tunnel holding hands with innocent looking children bedecked in colorful, cheery kiddy-kits who escort their assigned player and remain with them through the playing of the respective national anthems.

So what’s up with that? I always figured it had something to do with promoting the idea of international brotherhood and goodwill, which of course is perfectly personified in the round, chubby, cherubic cheeks of little children carrying bouquets of flowers.

But then Eyegal (who always seems to see through my blindspots) came up with an interesting hypothesis: … Read the rest

The Great Equalizer

Fact: Ghana is a relatively small, west African country with a population of just over 22,000,000 (49th in the world) and a GDP of $51.8 billion (77th in the world). Yesterday, they declared a national holiday and asked that all industries cut back on power usage, thereby saving enough juice to power the nation’s TV sets so that more of its citizens could watch the USA-Ghana World Cup match.

Fact: The United States of America is the world’s premier superpower with a population of 298,217,215 (3rd in the world) and a GDP of $13.05 trillion (Number One). Yesterday, most of its citizens were not aware that their National soccer team was playing Ghana in the World Cup, and even if they did know, they didn’t care.

… Read the rest

Plan B–Anybody But Brazil

africa_worldcup_germany_2006.gifA few folks have expressed an interest in learning who I will pull for should the U.S. National Team fail to advance in this year’s World Cup.

Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ve been giving that some thought since, I regret to announce, I believe the U.S. will not defeat Ghana today and that the Italians will most likely draw vs. the Czechs (I do hope I’m proven wrong, though). After due consideration, the following list represents the top five teams I will support should the Stars and Stripes fold and go home:… Read the rest

Nothing New Under the Sun

“Our youths love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders, and love to chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their household. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food, and tyrannize their teachers.” — Socrates, Greek philosopher and teacher (470-399 B.C.)

The origins of that quote, like many, are often disputed, but it does illustrate the point that “the problem with today’s youth” most likely dates back a few millennia. I was reminded of this as I read “Tech Creates a Bubble for Kids” in this morning’s USA Today.… Read the rest

O Say Can You See?

O say can you see,
By the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hail’d
At the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars,
Thro’ the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watch’d,
Were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket’s red glare,
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof thro’ the night
That our flag was still there.

Playing a man down in the second half and fending off an Italian attack that in the final minutes of the match resembled a reenactment of the Battle of Fort McHenry, the Stars and Stripes did indeed survive the perilous fight which played out at Fritz-Walter Stadion in Kaiserslautern, Germany this past Saturday.… Read the rest

ROAD TRIIIIP!

Road Trip.jpg

This morning, Operation Get Number One Son Out of the House, Into College and On the Road to Independent Living begins in earnest with a road trip to visit Appalachian State University, Davidson College and the University of Georgia–three colleges in three days.

Among the questions that will be answered on this trip (if not before) are:

  • Will Number One start to get a clue as to what he wants to do for college?
  • Does a 44-year-old man have what it takes to grind out a 1000 mile, 3-day road trip with two 17-year-old boys (Number One and his buddy Zac) who are armed with iPods full of high intensity, eardrum popping music?
… Read the rest

I Hope They Got Their Orange Slices

Kids soccer.jpgQuestion: What happens when the US brings its “best team ever” to the pitch to take on the Czech Republic on the world’s biggest soccer stage?

Answer: They hand us our “scalp.”

“Disappointed” hardly does justice to the mood of US soccer fans across the country this morning as the grizzled, Czech veterans (four starters over the age of 30) utterly dominated and dismantled the Red, White and Blue 3-0 in yesterday’s opener for both teams. For you futbol-challenged folks out there, 3-0 is the approximate equivalent of 30-0 in American football, and in this case the match wasn’t as close as the score indicated.… Read the rest

It’s a Beautiful Day for a Stomach Ache

ussoccerstore_1895_12437467.jpgDue to poor planning on my part, I’ll be working today as the United States takes on the Czech Republic in World Cup Action. Of course the DVR and computer are set to record the match, but it still won’t be the same as watching live, and I’m sure I’ll know the outcome of the match before I get off work.

Hello? What was I thinking? According to this commercial, it’s a beautiful day for a stomach ache, and as tempting as that may be, I’ll try to resist. Pray for me, please.

According to “the experts,” (the same ones that say that soccer is almost as good as…”you know”), the United States will be lucky to stay on the pitch with such Czech stars as Pavel Nedved, Jan Koller and Milan Baros.… Read the rest

Why the World Cup Matters

p1_Ronaldinho2.jpgOn this the opening day of World Cup 2006, my friend Jason Bybee at Already & Not Yet asks a pertinent question: Does anybody care?

Americans, with their provincial love of “home-grown” sports, high-scoring, slam-bam action and jiggly, twenty-something dancers in next-to-nothing outfits, for the most part have never developed a taste for the nuance and intricacy that enliven the soul of “The Beautiful Game.” Jason went on to ask, “What am I missing?”

After counting to ten and taking a short walk, I returned to my keyboard and typed this reply:

It’s an aquired taste, and when it comes to taste, most Americans don’t have very much.

… Read the rest

This Harding Thing of Ours

mpuzo-godfather.jpgI recently wrote of a pleasant serendipity in which I ran into an aquaintance from my alma mater, Harding University, at a Wendy’s restaurant in south Birmingham. It seemed an unlikely turn of events, but as JRB explained in the comments section, all things are possible with “La Harding Cosa Nostra.”

I chuckled at the image of a “Harding mob” (would that make President Burks the Godfather?) spread across the globe helping each other out and doing good for mankind rather than whacking people and eating platefuls of spaghetti on checkered tablecloths while listening to old Frank Sinatra records.

I had no idea then how right he was.… Read the rest

Correction–It’s the Doughboy!

Thanks to Scott Freeman, we now have some new information to mull over this morning regarding the Burger King-Antichrist connection.

In the comments section of yesterday’s post, Scott chimed in with this pearl:

“You know the founder of Burger King was COC right?”

I replied:

“Get out of here! Really? No, I wasn’t aware of this, but that does thicken the plot considerably.

Well, now that you’ve piqued our curiosity, we’re waiting with bated breath to hear more. Do you happen to know if he was premillenial or amillenial?”

Then he shot back:

“I may be wrong. But during my first youth ministry gig I worked with a former missionary to Brazil.

… Read the rest

Is He the Antichrist?

creepyking-775233.JPGThere is much ado about what day it is, you know, that day. And of course, the discussion invariably comes around to who is the Antichrist. A long list of famous people have been nominated over the years, but as I survey the cultural landscape these days, a leading candidate to me is that creepy monarch fronting for the international fast-food chain, Burger King.

There’s already been a good expose written on “The King” elsewhere, and many other scary details can be found here. Despite the fact that I rarely eat there (I prefer to receive a month’s worth of fat and cholesterol over the course of at least 15 days as opposed to one sitting, thank you very much), I just can’t get this guy out of my mind.… Read the rest

There They Are, Send Three!

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

—Isaiah 6:8

Shhhhh! Listen, very closely. Do you hear that sound? What sound you say? Exactly. It’s quiet…almost too quiet.

IMG_0037.JPGThe reason for the resounding silence is the lads are not in the house, having scattered to far-flung places as part of various mission teams sponsored by our church. For Number One son (the one on the left with his “intrepid explorer” face on, next to his friend Chase, the one with the Cheshire Cat grin) this means a trip to the really deep south and the hot and humid environs of Choluteca, Honduras.… Read the rest

Dear NPR–Look No Further, I’m Your Man!

radio_microphone.jpgDear Anonymous National Public Radio (NPR) employee,

Thank you for stopping by Ocular Fusion at 1:49:04 PM on Thursday, June 1, 2006. I noticed that you didn’t reach my blog via a referring link such as a search engine or another blog. That probably means that you either had my site bookmarked or perhaps emailed to you by one of the many talent scouts whom you’ve no doubt commissioned to scour the highways, byways and backwoods of America for fresh, emerging commentators and writers such as yours truly.

I’ll try to overlook the fact that you didn’t browse through any of my posts and that my stat counter indicated that you stayed approximately “0 seconds” before moving on.… Read the rest

The Road From Malibu to Searcy Runs Through Birmingham

Pepperdine.jpgI didn’t graduate from Pepperdine University. In fact, I’ve never set foot on the beautiful Malibu campus nestled by the jagged shoreline of the Pacific Ocean. But thanks to our youth minister, Jason, who recently attended the annual lectureship there, I am the proud owner of a bright orange Pepperdine t-shirt with arched, blue letters and a school seal with motto that reads “Freely ye received, freely give.” It was the first shirt that I pulled out of my drawer last Friday as I prepared to travel to Ozark, Alabama to spend Memorial Day weekend with my younger sister and her family.… Read the rest